Woe is Me, NYT

The New York Times rejects John McCain's editorial, telling him:

“Let me suggest an approach,” [NYT Editor David Shipley] wrote. “The Obama piece worked for me because it offered new information (it appeared before his speech); while Senator Obama discussed Senator McCain, he also went into detail about his own plans. It would be terrific to have an article from Senator McCain that mirrors Senator Obama's piece.”

John McCain is understandably upset by his inability to write a decent editorial:

McCain spokesman Tucker Bounds said Monday the Arizona senator's position will not change based on the "demands of the New York Times."

Not quite sure what that means, exactly. But because we, at Some of Nothing, strongly encourage the dispensing of karmic justice by a variety of means--writing editorials, volunteering, yelling obscenities at random passers-by, hand signals, etc--we feel it's incumbent upon us to offer John McCain a helping hand in this situation.

First, we must empathize with John McCain a bit here. Having recently dispensed some karmic justice on behalf of General Wesley Clark, we, like Senator McCain, felt that our letter's reception was...lackluster. Unlike Mr. McCain, however, we received no response from our brief, incogent email to the offending television networks. Not even a "Thank you for your email showing us how incredibly worthless our commentary really is and how we can't even tie our shoes without first checking in with Matt Drudge because we're a bunch of mindless, vapid sheeple whose only goal in life is to bask in the glint off of GW's John McCain's sunglasses while kicking back with him at his ranch in Crawford one of his seven houses," nothing. But, still, we empathize with the brutal rejection that John McCain has received and encourage him to take NYT's response as encouragement to continue working on his logic skills, spelling, and grammar, in order to finally achieve the karmic justice he feels is deserved. Sometimes, lackluster is just a starting point.

Secondly, we want to remind John McCain that, happily, when the New York Times closes a door, Matt Drudge opens a window. That's right. John McCain should take heart that, even though the NYT declares his editorial unfit to print, Republicans won't take this blatant display of meritocracy lying down. Drudge has absolutely no problem with the fact that McCain's "My Plan for Iraq" editorial actually contains no plan for Iraq. Instead, Drudge recognizes the comfortable reality that a plan tends to be full of tedious details that Republicans only pretend to care about during an election year. So, while we encourage John McCain to continue his quest for karmic justice in the New York Times, he may eventually come to recognize it as a quixotic enterprise. In which case, there's no shame in John McCain's admitting defeat victory and allowing Matt Drudge to dispense karmic justice on his behalf. Sometimes, standards are for suckers.

In the end, John McCain's campaign is no stranger to incompetence, so we're sure that he will bounce back from this minor setback. Heck, he may even get some more money out of it. Nonetheless, the dispensing of karmic justice is a worthy goal and is not to be undertaken lightly. Mr. McCain would do well to keep trying to push through that ability barrier and use all of tools at his disposal--scary words, oblique invectives, pens, pencils, etc--in the process. And if all else fails, he should simply declare victory, accuse his adversaries of admitting defeat, and call it a plan. Sometimes, losing is for winners.