Congress pulls all-nighter, agrees on 700 billion dollar bail-out of Red Bull
Dodd leaving negotiations Saturday
WASHINGTON — “We got it done,” the visibly exhausted Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid announced Saturday, as he unsteadily emerged from the Capital building with Financial Services Committee Chairman Barney Frank, after 24 hours of sleepless negotiations. “The money goes to Red Bull, we finally agreed on that, get away from me,” added Frank, before the pair scrambled into an awaiting cab.
This unexpected and, frankly, unintelligible decision has left even some of the Congressional negotiators scratching their heads–literally, a number of Congressional negotiators were observed repeatedly scratching their heads as they exited the building.
“You know, it just got really, really late and thoughts were expressed that could be considered unconvential, and those thoughts were hammered into a 700 billion dollar bail-out package for a great beverage company,” explained an unusually jittery Chris Dodd, the Democratic chief of the Senate banking committee. “It’s good stuff,” declared Dodd, before leaping from the Capital building steps in an apparent attempt to fly.
Upon hearing the news, Senator Obama abruptly made travel arrangements to Washington, temporarily suspending his campaign.
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