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It’s day six at the cabin…

Congressman Allen West is wearing a monkey mask while riding his Harley Davidson motorcycle. He’s maneuvering the bike to jump through fire loops, while holding a banana in his mouth. Michele Bachmann and Sarah Palin are filled with amazement, sparking the pair to applaud.

Sarah Palin is wearing a floppy, ribbon-laced sun hat with a quilted Chanel lamb skin jacket. She turns to Bachmann. “Michele, he’s trying so hard to make us laugh.” Bachmann, who just had her hair done in a style to suit the pound of make-up she’s wearing (making it difficult for her to smile), struggled to reply. “I don’t know about you Sarah, but Dennis Rodman is the silliest Negro I’ve ever met.”

Carlos Mencia is standing by the cabin’s picnic area, giving a loud speech. The comedian is suited up in rags for pants and a decorative poncho, as he shouts through a blow horn. “Latinos are sell outs too! I know how to help Governor Perry with the border…Give the Mexicans liquor…Booze always works…Alcohol killed the native Indian. Didn’t it? Why don’t Latinos have television liquor commercials, like Puffy? I want to sell liquor to Mexicans like Puffy sells Ciroc to black people!“

Meanwhile, over in the cabin’s courthouse, Juan Williams is begging Donald Rumsfeld, Rick Perry and Dick Cheney to save rapper Coolio’s life. Juan Williams is on his knees pleading. “Please have a heart, don’t lynch the man. Give him a decent trial, this is America!” Perry immediately spoke out. “You didn’t have a heart when you asked Newt Gingrich those horrible questions! I say we lynch Coolio, while we all listen to some good ole Toby Keith songs!” Cheney got up from the chair he was seated on and turned to Rumsfeld. “Let’s have a hunt…Coolio is free, if he survives the hunt.” Rumsfeld looked down at a crying Juan Williams and said, “We’ll spare his life, but he’ll have to survive the hunt!”

All of a sudden, a voice echoes over the plantation grounds. It’s coming from the P.A. system, and is obviously the voice of Senator Mitch McConnell telling all the House Negroes not to speak until spoken to.

Bret Baier spots Rick Perry walking towards the look-out Tower, holding his M16, and starts screaming, “Bill get over here…Rick’s heading to the tower!”

Bill O’Reilly jumps into a golf cart and drives to the plantation’s entrance. The Fox newsman is trying to greet the arriving house Negro before Senator John McCain can.

O’Reilly smiles after seeing a speeding black limousine heading towards the plantation grounds, and before O’Reilly could make it to the cabin’s entrance the black limousine pulled up. Senator John McCain exited the limousine. “Back off Bill…I took the liberty of picking up our next house Negro myself!”

O’Reilly immediately asked, “Who is it?” That’s when Jaime Foxx exited the stretched limousine, first addressing O’Reilly. “Hi Bill. This is may be my first trip to the cabin, but I know I was born to be here!” Before O’Reilly could answer, Senator McCain handed Jamie Foxx a plate containing pickled possum with ham hocks and a Ginger beer Snapple to wash it down with.

As the singer Seal was about to pick up Jamie Foxx’s luggage, Bill O’Reilly shouted, “Seal, leave those bags and go fetch Carlos Mencia! Tell him I said to come get these damn bags.” O’Reilly then pointed to Jamie Foxx saying, “And Foxx, if you want to stay here you’re gonna have to dress like Wanda!!!”

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Uncle Tom’s Cabin Retreat is brought to you by: Fox News, Snapple and Freddie Mac/Fannie Mae

©2012 Hollywood Street King. All Rights Reserved.

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