STO WAGS of the World: Alena Seredova

The Beauty: Alena Seredova is not telepathic, but I think she can communicate without talking. It is her brilliant eyes. As they say, “a picture is worth a thousand words”, and the one of Alena to the left is no exception. She communicates a lot with her look, like “I’m so much hotter than you”. Alas, it is true. Alena is a former beauty queen (Miss Czech Republic & Miss World 3rd runner up) and model (of the Playboy and Penthouse variety).

The Beast: Miss Seredova isn’t the most famous (or sexy) WAG, but she did snag herself one of the most well-known GKs in the world, Gianluigi Buffon. Buffon is ugly as sin, but he is a great keeper who has won a World Cup with Italy and stoically stood between the posts in Serie A matches for 15 years, first for Parma (over 160 games) and then with Juventus (over 250 games). His talent is remarkable. In fact, he is widely regarded as one of the best GKs ever.

The Bard: Alena’s beauty merits more than these few meters, but they are all I’ve got:

Wistful women lamented that they couldn’t woo Italy’s World Cup winning goalie.

His bachelor status was legendary, and his high standards ensured his bride would be holy.

So it was strange to many observers when he picked his bride out of nudie mags.

Most experts had believed he wouldn’t date a girl who modeled in such rags.

He must have seen her photo and knew she would someday have his babies.

Ah, why was he in such demand in the first place? He looks like he has scabies!