AG 2008 - Season 2 - Episode 1

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Hosted by Hulk Hogan & Laila Ali

WOMEN’S MATCH: Elena Maskalik vs. Melissa Trinidad

MEN’S MATCH: Randee Haynes vs. Jay Martinez

Event #1: Pyramid
Women Crush vs. Elena, Venom vs. Melissa

I love how reserved Crush is and then proceeds to demolish everyone in her path. Crush’s flying tackle was perfect; GORE GORE GORE!!! Crush was in fine form here as neither contender scored any points.

Men - Justice vs. Jay, Titan vs. Randee

Neither guy got any points here.

Event #2:

Women’s Joust - Crush

Crush twice in a row? I guess they figured out what people want. And man she’s hot on Joust; nothin like a girl holdin a big stick… The jumbotron then shows a taped message of a little girl saying “I love u mommy” and mommy ends up getting crushed fast and her daughters reaction was hilarious. I love Crush. She makes little girls cry. The kids make this show so much more funny than before, though they really shouldn’t put this family crap in the middle of the show. The family stuff only has potential for hilarity when their spouse/parent fails.

Men’s Hang Tough - Wolf

I see the corny taunt lines each contestant has to memorize are back. Randee scores 5 BIG POINTS BROTHER~! after hanging tough, though Wolf pulls Jay off.

Event #3:

Women’s Assault - Hellga

Cool, they don’t have to dig for the arrow anymore. I’m just glad they realized how much time was wasted, let alone stupid it was to have the contestants have to line up their shots, shuffle through the sand to find the arrow then run across the arena to load/fire it.

Oh, but one of the chicks can’t work a slingshot and was pointing the bazooka the wrong way; “read, aim, backfire”. Haha, she almost hit the camera man firing the bazooka backwards. That was hilarious… what a noob. I’ve never seen someone shoot a weapon backwards before, yet she managed to do it twice tonight. First she sent the slingshot ball flying behind her own head, and then she fired the bazooka the wrong direction. Both women score 4, but I really think contestants shouldn’t be awarded points for crap like that. They should actually have to fire the weapon *at* the target, not just pick it up and pull the trigger.

Men’s Gauntlet - Titan, Toa, Militia, Justice

I forgot how awesome Titan was; he was talking smack the whole event. Anyhoo, Randee made it past three Gladiators, whereas Jay made it through the Gauntlet to earn TEN BIG POINTS, BROTHER!

Event #4:

Women’s Wall - Jet vs. Elena, Melissa vs. Venom

Man, soccer mom looks ripped and got butt ugly; they ruined Monica. Anyways, Melissa slips on the wall and fails whereas Soccer mom couldn’t catch the fire fighter as Elena scores TEN BIG POINTS BROTHER!

Men’s Rocketball - Toa and Wolf

This is like Swingshot…only suckier! Though, it’s way better than Hit and Run, but yeah, there’s hardly any athleticism in Rocket Ball, unfortunately as pushing a button to launch yourself is hardly a physically demanding task like springing off a platform, onto the ground, then leaping into mid-air and back. Plus the game had the problem with the cables tangling up. Anyways, Both contenders get 2 points each.

ELIMINATOR
Women:

Elena Maskalik has a 5 second head start. Wow they changed the eliminator a lot; no more wall at the beginning, though they still kept the handbike, but it at least looked like the pit is deeper so you can’t just drop off (since the ball pit is a bitch to get out off). I also like how if they fall off the rope swing, they have to go back and RE-START. Oh, and exhausted contestants dropping into a deep pool and having to be rescued? Did they think that through? No, they wont drown; that’s the dumbest idea ever. Anyhoo, Elena let me down (given the hotness) as she lost and completed the course in 10 MINUTES! Oh well, neither of them would have made the finals anyway unless somehow another winner sucks more. To quote Stewie from Family Guy, “This is why nobody respects the WNBA.”

WINNER: Melissa Trinidad - 9:42

Men:

Randee Haynes has a 0.5 second head start. Randee made a decent showing and finished nearly 2 and a half minutes before Jay.

WINNER: Randee Haynes - 2:06

Fun Fact: There ARE penalties assessed during the eliminator; HOWEVER, they cut the video so that it’s no longer real time and hide anything such as penalties to make it appear seamless. In addition, they make the cuts in a way that makes the races seem closer than they actually are in the middle.

Related Posts

• June 14, 2009 -- AG 2008 - Season 2 - Episode 2
• June 11, 2009 -- AG 2008 - Season 1 - Episode 9 (Finals - Sooooo… It’s Over Already?!)
• June 11, 2009 -- AG 2008 - Season 1 - Episode 8 (Semifinal #2)
• June 11, 2009 -- AG 2008 - Season 1 - Episode 7 (Semifinal #1)
• June 11, 2009 -- AG 2008 - Season 1 - Episode 6

Tags: American Gladiators

This entry was posted on Sunday, June 14th, 2009 at 3:09 pm and is filed under TV Shows. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.