Abel to Yzerman

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by VooX on 03/01/10 at 07:04 PM ET
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After a two week break in the schedule where most of the 19 turned against me and Canada, we are back to the battle at hand.  Making the playoffs.  With the break over, it seems both a little unusual and familiar to be reading your blogs with news of the Red Wings once again at the forefront.

As I don’t have to see his ugly mug again for a long time, there will be no more Rosby Rants.

And there is another ugly mug that we get to see for the first time in a long time, Andreas Lilja.  While he had his moments of confusion on the ice before his absence, his last season of play was his best.  Us Wings fans are left to wonder if he will be back in that fine form, or will his brain have turned into Swiss cheese and he completes the Trio of Turd:  Meech - Lebda - Lilja (?).

The coaches and players are saying the right things.  They are energized following the break.  Of course, Rafalski and Babcock will have to get back into the game quickly thanks to Li’l Gary’s scheduling clusterfuch.  Combine the scheduling turnaround with Team USA’s flight home scheduled for the morning of the Gold Medal game, and I seriously wonder if the NHL is being run by clowns huffing nitrous oxide balloons all day.  All signs point to yes.  Li’l Gary loves hippie crack.  And fuching the Red Wings any way he can.

In the absence of the braintrust, the Red Wings continued practicing.  Cleary taking a shot off the foot for good measure.  Reportedly he is fine, but he must feel like there is a target on him even in the absence of William Tell.  If Jobu rears his head again I don’t think I will be able to cope.  We finally have a healthy roster and the Wings need to build chemistry.  Don’t fuch with us, Jobu, we are not in the mood.

Jonny Ericsson spent time in the Bahamas over the break, hopefully that will get his head straight.  Keep an eye out for a spike in birthrate in Nassau.  Word has it he managed to impregnate most of the locals and two of the three cruise ships that dock there on a regular basis.  The third was a Disney cruise where he is rumoured to be responsible for the birth of most of the children on board already.  That crazy guy.  I hope he can score with as much proficiency on the ice, and not get confused with his stick in his hand like he has been prone to do this season.

Following the jump some very important H2H updates.

H2H is almost upon us.  If you haven’t bought your ticket from Jen, tough.  You will have to go through the Red Wings ticket office to get a seat with us now.  There is also only a couple of days left to pay for your Hockeytown Cafe pregame party ticket.  Make your payment , if you don’t there will be no second chances to attend what is shaping up to be an epic party.

Also, get involved and donate to the H2H fundraiser in one of a couple of ways. 

The first is the one you’ve known about for a while, the official H2H donation page.  For every $5 donation you make to the charity, you will get an entry into the raffle for one of a number of great prizes.  The list of prizes is growing so take a look at the website get the full update.  Many thanks to the Detroit Red Wings organization, Chris Osgood, and many others for their prize donations.  They have taken H2H to the next level with their generosity.

The second way to help the fundraiser is a brilliant effort going on at The Production Line.  They are holding a Call to H2H Action fundraiser.  Various friends of TPL and A2Y are putting their money where their mouths are and donating hard cash for every Wings goal in upcoming games.  If you’d like to participate, pay a visit to The Production Line and pony up your bid.

Now for a breaking H2H development.

Over the Olympic break I have been reading all the various Wings blogs.  Member of the 19, Animal Drew, who writes the excellent Nightmare on Helm Street blog has been very busy.  In addition to constantly mocking Team Canada and covering the Olympic hockey tournament, he has been hard at work digging up real stories that would have fallen through the cracks.

Perhaps his most important contribution is this story about “journalist” extraordinaire, Pinky.  It seems that under the crushing weight of our mocking and laughing at him, Pinky has decided to go for an image makeover.  Gone is the picture of Pinky on his blog drinking a jar of his own urine while wearing an fugly hat and sweatshirt with his pinky in the air like a douche-bag antenna, in favour of a photo with an uglier hat and sweatshirt, but alas, with no pinky-extending urine drinking.

Don’t worry, we won’t let that image die.

In honour of Pinky making himself look ridiculous as a person and a “journalist”, I suggest the 19 attending H2H show Pinky what good fashion is all about.

I am calling on every man attending the H2H game to wear a cool pimp hat of their own.  Buy one if you don’t own one or your wife made you throw yours away when you got married and retired from pimpdom.  It can be like Uncle Mike’s pimp hat during the winter classic or it can be your own appropriate style for the pimp that you are.

I leave it up to you, but I really hope that we will have a whole section full of pimp hats to show Pinky and the hockey world that the 19 are the most fashionable pimps on the Gore, bitches.

With the Olympics over we are all on the same side now, 19, time to hop aboard the Stress Train as the Wings make their bid for their 19th consecutive year of playoff games.  Drinks are on the house all night, so grab a seat at the bar and get comfortable.

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