Andruw Jones Signs With The Dodgers, Will Immediately Commence Slump.

Reports on Wednesday confirmed that Atlanta Braves centerfielder Andrew Jones would no longer be rockin' tomahawk chops. The 30 year old has signed a two year, $36 million deal with the Los Angeles Dodgers, and hopes to add a playoff berth and a possible championship to his resume. Unfortunately, someone forgot to mention he was going to the Dodgers and not the Angels.

Jones, 30, hit 26 home runs and drove in 94 runs last season for the Atlanta Braves. He hit at least 25 home runs and won a Gold Glove for the 10th consecutive season. The Dodgers are expected to move weak-armed Juan Pierre to left field, leaving Matt Kemp and Andre Ethier for right. The surplus of outfielders could make either Kemp or Ethier expendable and the Dodgers are believed to have been asked for Kemp in trade discussions for several available pitchers, including left-hander Erik Bedard of the Baltimore Orioles.

The short-term move is obviously a sign that he needs to get his fat-ass back into shape so he can make the big bucks in two years. After all, Scott Boras is his agent. Based on history, and the fact the Dodgers are like kryptonite for power hitters (Shawn Green, Gary Sheffield, Darryl Strawberry!), Jones will probably hit 16 homeruns, 80 RBI's and he'll blame the slump on the paparazzi. Dodgers add Andruw Jones [LATimes] Image [MLB]