I am Angel Cabrera (kind of)
In honor of The Master's yesterday, I thought it about time that I provide the play by play for the crowning glory that was Bar Golf. Oh what a day. It was a lovely and well organized event, fun for the whole (over 21) family. I'll spare all of the sordid details and my attempts at well written social scene recaps and return to the bulleted highlight reel form:
1. Me, hole three, It's Confidential (apparently now called "The Backstretch"... pssst, someone should tell them that they aren't anywhere near the backstretch, and that there is already a bar there)... anyway, me, pumping dollars into the juke to jam to Patty Smyth's The Warrior not once but twice (see earlier post re: the warrior)... also jammed to PYT and added Disturbia for the "dance off" (read on)
2. My married friends killed it in the dance off, blowing away the competition (colin) with there well choreographed moves. I, as usual, fist pumped... and asked Shan's bosses husband to catch me, Dirty Dancing style, but he couldn't be troubled.
3. Colin getting cocky during said dance off and doing the worm (success) and using his arm and foot as a jump rope one time (success) and then another time (fail), where he tripped himself and ate hardwood. Better luck next time.
4. Peabody's was also a highlight where I won a hat from 2004 for having the closest birthday. Note: Colin orchestrated this award and roughly 40 minutes later said something about my birthday and could not remember the date... he also came up to us at Peabody's (hole 2) and proudly proclaimed "I'm blacked out."
5. Sassmaster and I taking a detour to drop off prizes in the offices of a certain downtown fun-center. Speaking of, I better get my Corona ice bucket, Harlem globetrotters basketball, and 2004 Bar Golf hat back soon.
6. 9 Maple was basically the point of no return. This bar gave us such great highlights as: "I am going to F S U!!!! .... you know, fuck shit up" That right there is classic mcneillery.
7. Gaffneys bore witness to the great tattoo off, which Aek was ROBBED of! I hope my aunt isn't reading this, as she is yet to learn of Aek's 4 year old tattoo.
8. Girl yacking outside of Bullpen... as one of the organizers later said to me: "thank god they signed waivers"
9. The post tournament dance party at TnL.
10. The number of times someone (probably Jen) said to me, "my god, its still light out!"
11. Now, there is no justice that can be done to Sassmaster's FIVE (5) voicemails he left me in the span of ONE (1) hour... they are the FUNNIEST things I have ever heard. I am in the process of transcribing them. Next time the group is together I will hook up some speakers and play them for a crowd... I will say, however, that the voicemails can be broken down into a few key themes which were touched on throughout:a. I (me) am a loser and Sassmaster is a winner.b. "game over"c. Jimmy P. jokesd. me having the "Zactly Disease" (look it up)
12. Someone also broke their ankle, right?
13. Last but not least, I WON BEST FEMALE FINISHER... TOP SCORE FOR THE WOMEN! I have a huge trophy. I was unable to give a speech, but I was able to use my trophy as a microphone and an air guitar during my victory jam sesh. Basically, I struck the perfect balance between drinking a decent amount AND still having the cognitive skills to turn my scorecard in at hole #9. Also, buttery nipple shots really padded my score. As well as a strategically-eaten pre-tee off chicken tender. No worries, I plan on writing up a full strategy sheet for next year... it'll be available for purchase as the 2010 date nears.
So yeah that's it... day was awesome, I was awesome... good time had by all. I know you ALL have something to say re: this post, so PLEASE add it in comments. Now, I need to go pick up my green jacket from the cleaners.... get it??
1. Me, hole three, It's Confidential (apparently now called "The Backstretch"... pssst, someone should tell them that they aren't anywhere near the backstretch, and that there is already a bar there)... anyway, me, pumping dollars into the juke to jam to Patty Smyth's The Warrior not once but twice (see earlier post re: the warrior)... also jammed to PYT and added Disturbia for the "dance off" (read on)
2. My married friends killed it in the dance off, blowing away the competition (colin) with there well choreographed moves. I, as usual, fist pumped... and asked Shan's bosses husband to catch me, Dirty Dancing style, but he couldn't be troubled.
3. Colin getting cocky during said dance off and doing the worm (success) and using his arm and foot as a jump rope one time (success) and then another time (fail), where he tripped himself and ate hardwood. Better luck next time.
4. Peabody's was also a highlight where I won a hat from 2004 for having the closest birthday. Note: Colin orchestrated this award and roughly 40 minutes later said something about my birthday and could not remember the date... he also came up to us at Peabody's (hole 2) and proudly proclaimed "I'm blacked out."
5. Sassmaster and I taking a detour to drop off prizes in the offices of a certain downtown fun-center. Speaking of, I better get my Corona ice bucket, Harlem globetrotters basketball, and 2004 Bar Golf hat back soon.
6. 9 Maple was basically the point of no return. This bar gave us such great highlights as: "I am going to F S U!!!! .... you know, fuck shit up" That right there is classic mcneillery.
7. Gaffneys bore witness to the great tattoo off, which Aek was ROBBED of! I hope my aunt isn't reading this, as she is yet to learn of Aek's 4 year old tattoo.
8. Girl yacking outside of Bullpen... as one of the organizers later said to me: "thank god they signed waivers"
9. The post tournament dance party at TnL.
10. The number of times someone (probably Jen) said to me, "my god, its still light out!"
11. Now, there is no justice that can be done to Sassmaster's FIVE (5) voicemails he left me in the span of ONE (1) hour... they are the FUNNIEST things I have ever heard. I am in the process of transcribing them. Next time the group is together I will hook up some speakers and play them for a crowd... I will say, however, that the voicemails can be broken down into a few key themes which were touched on throughout:a. I (me) am a loser and Sassmaster is a winner.b. "game over"c. Jimmy P. jokesd. me having the "Zactly Disease" (look it up)
12. Someone also broke their ankle, right?
13. Last but not least, I WON BEST FEMALE FINISHER... TOP SCORE FOR THE WOMEN! I have a huge trophy. I was unable to give a speech, but I was able to use my trophy as a microphone and an air guitar during my victory jam sesh. Basically, I struck the perfect balance between drinking a decent amount AND still having the cognitive skills to turn my scorecard in at hole #9. Also, buttery nipple shots really padded my score. As well as a strategically-eaten pre-tee off chicken tender. No worries, I plan on writing up a full strategy sheet for next year... it'll be available for purchase as the 2010 date nears.
So yeah that's it... day was awesome, I was awesome... good time had by all. I know you ALL have something to say re: this post, so PLEASE add it in comments. Now, I need to go pick up my green jacket from the cleaners.... get it??
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