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Obama: Bo Ate My Birth Certificate

By gunnersykes on | From gunnersykes.com

In a startling turn of events, White House officials revealed today that Bo, the First Dog, ate Barack Obama's original birth certificate.

"I am saddened to report that Barack Obama's original birth certificate was eaten by his mischievous Portuguese Water Dog, Bo," reported White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs. "I hope this puts an end to the constant carping from pick-up truck driving, gun-toting, ignorant rednecks on the right who want to see the original birth certificate. Brain-damaged, inbred birthers may now just shut their fat yaps and find something better to do, like shooting innocent, starving wolves from helicopters."

Joseph Farah, of Worldnet Daily, immediately called for an investigation of Bo's bowel movements.

"This is one of the most blatant government cover-ups in history," opined Farah. "I demand that Bo's fecal matter be confiscated and every effort made to reconstruct the original birth certificate. That is, if the dog actually ate the birth certificate. The whole story sounds pretty fishy to me."

Keith Olbermann, an alleged journalist, immediately dubbed Bo The Worst Dog in the World. "Now we will never know the real truth," said Olbermann. "One of history's greatest mysteries will now be forever hidden in a fetid pile of presidential dog doo."

"You can trace the beginnings of this obvious plot to overthrow the constitution to Socks the Cat, who was heartlessly cast aside by Hillary Clinton, who would've made a much better president than Barack Obama," said Glenn Beck. "What next, a dog poo czar? I will cover this in depth later. I assure you that heads will roll."

Former Vice President Dick Cheney was unavailable for comment.

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