Chubby Cheeks Financial Disclosure Statement

NEW YORK, NY  -  In the Washington Heights section of New York City, a man named Chubby Cheeks is rapidly becoming a legend. 

He has developed an extraordinary skill, which has turned him into a hero. 

Here is Chubby Cheeks displaying his talent…     

Mr. Cheeks considers himself a role model for our urban youth.

That’s why he’s running for U.S. Congress, against Cong. Charles Rangel.

“We are fed up with lying politicians!” said Cheeks, after holding up the Bank of America on 171^st street and Broadway. 

“I am going to restore honesty and integrity to our political system!” 

To prove this honesty, he created a questionnaire for Congressman Rangel, and any one else who wants your vote. 

Chubby Cheeks answered all the questions, and passed with flying colors. 

The Puerto Rican Guy is going to vote for him. 

Here are Mr. Cheeks’ questions:

Chubby Cheeks Financial Disclosure Statement

1. Who gave you that ring?
2.  How many bank accounts you got?
3.  How many are in a foreign country?
4.  How many in the Cayman Islands?
5.  Do you have foreign or domestic household help?
6.  Do you pay taxes for your domestic help?
7.  Can you account for every penny you ever made?
8.  When is the last time you did an honest day’s work? (exact date)
9.  If a wiretap were placed in your phone, could you explain every   call without getting arrested?  

10. Have you started any wars on behalf of Halliburton recently?

11. How many of your brothers did you bail out during the Savings &  

      Loan scandal?

12. How many lobbyists own a piece of you?

13. How many book deals are you planning?

14. How many paid speeches will you give in Dubai?

15. How many children’s books will your wife peddle on amazon.com?

16. How many times have you benefited from insider information?

17. How many times will you invest in defense stocks, then declare  an orange alert? 

18. How many times will you undermine the U.S. Constitution in order to fatten your wallet? 

19. How many Mexicans have you taken advantage of?

20. Why is your limo driver running away?

Puerto Rican Guy

Stumble! for WP

This entry was posted on Tuesday, October 13th, 2009 at 8:01 AM and is filed under Campaign 2009. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.