Skidmarks Protect Money

After so many years out West, I learned to keep a stash of cash in my house.  This seemed wise because of the prevalence of earthquakes.  I didn’t want to be without money, for days, while ATM’s were down and banks were closed.  After 9/11, I increased the amount of dough, for safe-keeping, within my home.  I even bought a small, floor safe (and had it installed).  But, then I discovered this product (in the picture).  It’s an underwear safe; complete with faux skidmarks.  What burglar is gonna rummage through poop-stained briefs?  It’s fool-proof, and only $11.  So, for those who insist upon buying me underwear and socks, for my upcoming birthday, I offer this compromise.