Skidmarks Protect Money
After so many years out West, I learned to keep a stash of cash in my house. This seemed wise because of the prevalence of earthquakes. I didn’t want to be without money, for days, while ATM’s were down and banks were closed. After 9/11, I increased the amount of dough, for safe-keeping, within my home. I even bought a small, floor safe (and had it installed). But, then I discovered this product (in the picture). It’s an underwear safe; complete with faux skidmarks. What burglar is gonna rummage through poop-stained briefs? It’s fool-proof, and only $11. So, for those who insist upon buying me underwear and socks, for my upcoming birthday, I offer this compromise. 
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