RT @jacobgivens: "Thrust no one." - Agent Mulder's daily sex addict affirmation

"'Ello. I'm Michael Caine." - Michael Caine

Where the hell have I been?

To: Madison & Kat, Thank you for the gifts. You're awesome. (And hello to Todd & Dori, true gentlemen.) http://t.co/NShlubiM

He has risen, my Lord Herman Cain.

“@DallonWeekes: New Panic! album demo: http://t.co/pJXtB1ds” For a sec, I thought you were gonna play a song that ISN'T going on the record.

RT @BuzzFeedFeed: Matthew McConaughey Reprises "Dazed And Confused" Character In Music Video http://t.co/HRYP2t3A

I think I look like David the Gnome on my new bike. If David the Gnome was an unrelenting badass.

RT @shanevaldes: Who wants to come hang out? http://t.co/5gOHFTLH

RT @shanevaldes: Our first ride in la @brendonboydurie http://t.co/tSiVTcLh

“@theNuzzy: @BrendonBoydUrie & @tastyjeff sure stuffed a lot of meat into their mouths tonight.” Hell yeah.

Guys, good news. I got a 99% on my California Driver's Written Exam, so I'm a super knowledgable driver. And knowing is half the battle.

“@emilyvstheworld: @brendonboydurie wanna cyber ;) asl” Haha. Just took me back to 1996.

“@r3inventl0ve: @brendonboydurie if you answer this tweet i will have the energy to pee because i love you, bitch” Go pee, creepy avatar.

“@_weronika: @brendonboydurie if u dont have skinny genes, dont wear skinny jeans.” Yeah, pretty much.

“@BIEBER_PATD: @brendonboydurie am I playing with you ? or is this a phony??? http://t.co/zui4wrHS” Phony. Big fat phony.

Wait.. What? EVERYbody dies? Well, I guess we can all stop worrying then.

Holy shart! It's a close race. We've all got love for Adam Lambert, but help us make it into the next round! http://t.co/BoXo2jZA

The Captain just bought himself a new toy. By "Captain," I mean me. And by "toy," I mean this thing: http://t.co/iPZ37toH

Dear fans: You are incredible and your votes in MTVs Musical March Madness are proof. Love you.

RT @jacobgivens: In pre-production on the coolest thing I've ever been a part of. We film mid-April, and an official announcement is com ...

This is complete madness. I feel like I'm walking into spiderwebs. Leave a message and I'll call you back. Please vote: http://t.co/L0HApZQJ