The End of the World According to Movies
Jake Gyllenhaal ('The Day After Tomorrow'), Bruce Willis ('Armageddon'), and Sarah Polley and Ving Rhames ('Dawn of the Dead')more pics »
This sh** just got REAL. It's heeeeeeere! The big, bad 2012. According to the Mayan calendar, it's going to be our last year ever on this Earth. Major bummer, right? We still have so many
The end of the world goes by many names (Armageddon, Doomsday, the Apocalypse, the End of Days, Keeping Up with the Kardashians). And if movies are any indication, the end of life as we know it can come in a variety of different forms. The Mayans probably just ran out of stone tablets to continue their calendar on, but on the off-chance that they were right it's probably best to make like a Boy Scout and be prepared.
That's why we've gathered all of the various movie apocalypse scenarios and created a survival game plan for each one. Because Bruce Willis probably isn't going to be around to save the day this time.
Apocalypse Brought to You By: Weather
Movie Reference: The Day After Tomorrow
Plan of Action: When global warning decides to bite us all in the a**, you're going to want to be inside. Also, listen to the Jake Gyllenhaal of your group. He's kind of annoying, but you'll need him when the starving wolves attack.
Apocalypse Brought to You By: Zombies
Movie Reference: Dawn of the Dead
Plan of Action: Barricade yourself inside the mall, but be warned: hanging out at the food court is going to eventually get old. Aim for the head when you're fighting off the zombies (and friends who have become zombies) and try not to lose your cool.
Apocalypse Brought to You By: Mayans
Movie Reference: 2012
Plan of Action: There's probably a global conspiracy preparing for this catastrophe, so find your local crackpot and ask for his help. Then hop a Russian plane to China (that's where the arks for the floods are, natch) and fight your way onto a ship. Celebrate your survival by chatting with your daughter about Pull-Ups.
Apocalypse Brought to You By: Asteroid
Movie Reference: Armageddon
Plan of Action: This one's easy. Step one: Find a friend who knows how to pilot a spaceship. Step two: Put animal crackers all over your girlfriend's body while listening to Aerosmith. Step 3: Fly to space and detonate a bomb inside the asteroid. Voila!
Apocalypse Brought to You By: Nuclear War
Movie Reference: The Day After
Plan of Action: If you're caught in the main blast there's no hope for you (fast-forward to 3:19 to see what we mean), but if you manage to survive the mushroom cloud you're going to need anti-radiation meds. Either way, you're probably pretty screwed if this is the way things go down.
Apocalypse Brought to You By: Disease
Movie Reference: 28 Days Later
Plan of Action: First things first, don't touch any blood! And if you're a lady survivor, watch out for creepy guys who offer you a supposed safe haven. Get yourself to a safe spot and wait for the infected to starve, but keep your eyes out for a sequel...
Apocalypse Brought to You By: Aliens
Movie Reference: War of the Worlds
Plan of Action: If alien tripod fighters start rising out of the earth, you better be ready. But you don't have to be Tom Cruise to defeat these surprisingly susceptible aliens — just sneeze on them. After all, the War of the Worlds was won when the aliens died from Earth bacteria infections.
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