What’s Under Your Patio?

Following the last few sunny days of lovely April weather, I decide it is now time to finish off the forlorn-looking patio in my back garden. I had grafted the whole of July last year after renting and buying tools and equipment using an online business directory . After laying the decking, I decided that I would probably need at least a couple of months to finish my mini project. This meant it would probably be September by the time it was completed. It’d be too cold to enjoy it then, justified the voice in my head and thus the tools were left for a Coronation Street Omnibus.

Well, not this year. I will definitely have a lovely place in which to enjoy my homemade lemonade before the typical British weather takes over. Suddenly, I have a brilliant idea. I could have my gorgeous patio, without even having to lift a finger at all. So I go online and visit the internet business directory again and this time I decide to ‘get a man in’ (quite a few actually) to do all the work.

As I flicked Scrolled through the directory, I start to envisage my realm of calm, created by a miniature waterfall with a group of carps swimming lazily around the pond weed and a couple of Bonsai trees dotted fashionably around the garden.

Suddenly, my daydream is interrupted by a few sharp shrills coming from the back. I peer out of the back window only to see a most gruesome sight. The family that are my neighbours had decided to utilise the sunshine by setting up a mini paddling pool for the two tiny terrors as well as for mum and dad.

Dad is wearing a grubby white vest that did not do too well to cover the excessive Sunday lunch he had just consumed, revealing a rather hairy belly button and mum fares no better, sporting a pair of denim hot pants that did not fit to size. In my opinion no-one pulls off hot pants except for Kate Moss and those that are no more than a size six. Roll on summer!