Ryan and CariDee,

I was shocked when I returned home yesterday to find a hole in the middle of my living room wall that was made during your stay. Coincidentally it's about the same size as the remote control, which is also broken. For this, I will be keeping your deposit.

Along with that, there was fake orange tan dust all over everything: the pillows, the sheets, the towels, the bathmat, the walls, everywhere. The icing on the cake were the short black hairs all over the entire bathroom, as well as black sludge and lipstick smeared along walls. Fruit flies formed a thick cloud in the kitchen. Bandaids stuck to the floor, etc. etc. etc. Both puzzling and sickening.

People on Craigslist rent out their homes, not their hotel rooms. It's for mature, respectful people. If you throw things at walls, you are neither. Tanning dust, black sludge, black hairs hairs, and wall holes are for hotel rooms where a maid comes everyday. I've been doing this for five years, and I've never had anyone treat my home this way.

I don't think that you two were intentionally disrespectful--I can see you two tried to wash the sheets--it's probably just how you roll. But if you roll that way, stay in a hotel. Take responsibility for your profoundly tantastic lives.

If I hear about you renting off Craigslist again, I will post my story of the Tanning Dust/Black Sludge Nightmare as a warning to other renters. Actually I just might do that anyway, after I get done cleaning the bathroom, which should take a week. Regardless, no more Craigslist for you two.

[Name Redacted]

P.S. You left your diarrhea medicine on the floor.