One Person Cats

Some cats seem to be One Person Cats. They devote their energy and affection to one person, and have the reputation of ignoring other people in the household. This is a somewhat misleading designation. There's more to explore in the One Person Cat dynamic.

Some breeds have the reputation of One Person Cats, such as the Chantilly/Tiffany, Manx, Occicat, Siamese, Somali, and Turkish Angora. This isn't a purebred trait, though, since many people have told me about their seriously mixed breeds who attach themselves to one person.

It's not a breed trait so much as a state of mind that creates a One Person Cat. These cats are happiest with a high degree of interaction and trust, and, once this is established, they will not be driven to seek that same level with another person.

Since they have a high need for affection and closeness, they have untapped potential to offer these gifts to someone else, too. This potential is not realized when other people in the household decide the One Person Cat stops there. They do not.

For instance, there's RJ. Within five seconds of RJ's first meeting with Dear Husband, I knew they had a special bond, and I said so. Dear Husband was disbelieving at the time. After all, RJ freely bestowed affection on me, to the point that he would spend ten minutes on one lap, and then switch to another. I could pick him up and cuddle him and get purrs. He would seek me out for affection, and act distressed when I went out. It was, and is, obvious he loves me. Too.

Yet as time went on, it was just as obvious that the special bond I noticed was still operating. RJ's favorite spots were always near the places where Dear Husband spent most of his time. It was Dear Husband who got the melting-into-the-lap moments, the little chirps of inquiry, and the google-eyed, share this with me, seeking out interactions. It's not that I wouldn't get those times. It's that Dear Husband got more of them, and got them first.

Yes, RJ is a One Person Cat. It's not that Dear Husband is home more, and thus gets to feed and play with the cats more, though that is true. Dear Husband gets plenty of cuddling and care from Mr. Bond. When Dear Husband is feeling low, it is Mr. Bond who draws my attention to the fact, and will push open the door to the bedroom to sleep on the bed, offering consolation in the only way he can.

Yet I am, and will always be, Mr. Bond's Special Person.

Some cats do not single out. They are capable of being equally adoring with any person who can win them over. It's not that their affection and trust is any less than the One Person Cat's. It's that they have a lower threshold for invoking it, one which more people can easily meet.

The One Person Cat personality has extra helpings of caution and demand. It takes more devotion and effort to convince them we are trustworthy, but once the tide has turned, the One Person Cat gives themselves over to their Special Person, who has shown themselves to be worthy.

The responsibility of being a Special Person to such a cat cannot be taken lightly. They will pine when we are away, expect to be fussed over after every absence, and require daily attention and affection for them to feel secure.

The bestowing of Special Person status is only when a person has already established such a standard; they have shown that Their Cat is likewise worthy. We cannot let the side down, despite the press of other demands on our time and attention. The One Person Cat cannot easily switch to another person, and neglect will leave them bereft.

However, this doesn't mean the One Person Cat cannot love other people. In fact, they should love other people. The catch is that they can only love people who love them back, properly. If other people shower them with the requisite fascination, the One Person Cat can become the More-Than-One Person Cat.

This cannot happen in a household where the other people feel the cat's heart is already taken, and never make the effort required to be their friend. It's true, the cat will only have one Special Person. But these are cats with great potential for affection. They have room for any number of Also Special People.

The One Person Cat will not be swayed by sporadic, half-hearted attempts. To get their considerable devotion, we must be willing to bestow considerable devotion as a token of our good faith. Once captured, the cat will give a great deal to their new friend, and will have a go-to person for times their Special Person is not available.

It's also important for the Special Person to encourage the cat to reach out to other people. The One Person cat is highly sensitive to the displeasure of their Special Person. Jealousy or possessiveness on the part of the Special Person would discourage the cat from showing affection to others. But this isn't fair. There will be more love for everyone when all parties can freely be affectionate with each other.

I may not be RJ's favorite. But just today, he's spent a few hours asleep against my leg. He talks to me, is interested in what I do, and loves my cuddling. It doesn't matter that I don't have 100% of RJ's heart. I love him, which means I'm glad he has someone he can give all of his heart to.

99% of a heart, when it is as big as RJ's, is still a wonderful thing to have.


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