Dig through Roget's Thesaurus all you want. You won't find pearls of wisdom from Seagal, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jean-Claude Van Damme. That's why I turn to the Quotable Action Hero, started by my friend Marc Harzman, a recognized authority on sideshows, people who do freaky things after talking with God, and strange things sold on eBay.

Mark was in my thoughts yesterday, as word came of a couple from Dallas who found Cheeto shaped like Jesus with clasped hands, praying to God.

All hail the orange, two-inch-tall "Cheesus of Nazarus," a natural wonder we'll add to our collection of Strange Signs of God. Will we soon see this treasure on eBay? I'll have to ask Hartzman, the owner of a penis-shaped Cheeto, found, of course, on eBay. My guess is it'll end up on his mantle, much to wife's chagrin.

Photo © Warner Bros. (Top); Dan Bell (Bottom)
Join Me on Facebook | Get My Twitter Updates