Parenting - Child Behaviour Challenges
Some parents are concerned about setting firm expectations with their children about child behaviour as they are worried that it may harm their relationship with the child.This is in fact a fallacy. Children may grumble and make a fuss when parents enforce expectations about child behaviour, however deep down they realize that this shows you care. The reality is that the practice of setting boundaries and expectations for acceptable child behaviour and then enforcing them, will make a child feel loved and secure.
It is quite difficult developing and introducing rules for child behaviour.Many parents would rather not set rules for expected child behaviour, to avoid the confrontation and the uncomfortable scenes that happen when it comes to enforcing them. Uncomfortable confrontation does not mean that parents lack child disciplne skills. It just is a fact that a normal part of child behavior is breaking rules and testing limits; it is part of growing up.
Parents prefer to be the child's friend, but this is not possible when it comes to the place of establishing expectations for child behaviour. A critical parenting role is to provide protection, and to nurture children. When child behaviour is unacceptable, parents can often overreact with harsh punishment and this undermines the effectiveness of setting behaviour parameters.
It is more effective to approach dealing with child behaviour problems in a similar way to this method. When you are about to talk with your child about a new rule and their expected behaviour, discuss with them the consequences of breaking the rule, explaining what the punishment will be and how it will be carried out. Conseqences go together with the child behaviour rules, so the child knows the cost of breaking them ahead of time. Consequences need to be reasonable as well as a logical response to the unacceptable behaviour. When that unacceptable behavior occurs parents should make sure that the consequences are those which you have discussed previously with the child.
When a child's behaviour is inappropriate, obviously you may feel angry and this is understandable. In fact sharing your feelings of anger, disappointment or sadness can have a powerful motivating influence in your child's life. Therefore it is important that parents give themselves a timeout to cool off because it is easy to issue empty threats or say things that are not really intended when a person is upset.
An important factor is to be sure that the child has a clear understanding of the rules concerning child behaviour, and that the parent is consistent in carrying through with the understood consequences of breaking a rule. When following through with consequences for a violated rule, it is important to make sure the child understands why they are receiving the punishment.
After a parent has enforced the consequences, it is important to take the opportunity to reaffirm the expectations of child behavior, and that the child is still loved as a person, and it is their choice of behaviour that is being addressed.
It is quite difficult developing and introducing rules for child behaviour.Many parents would rather not set rules for expected child behaviour, to avoid the confrontation and the uncomfortable scenes that happen when it comes to enforcing them. Uncomfortable confrontation does not mean that parents lack child disciplne skills. It just is a fact that a normal part of child behavior is breaking rules and testing limits; it is part of growing up.
Parents prefer to be the child's friend, but this is not possible when it comes to the place of establishing expectations for child behaviour. A critical parenting role is to provide protection, and to nurture children. When child behaviour is unacceptable, parents can often overreact with harsh punishment and this undermines the effectiveness of setting behaviour parameters.
It is more effective to approach dealing with child behaviour problems in a similar way to this method. When you are about to talk with your child about a new rule and their expected behaviour, discuss with them the consequences of breaking the rule, explaining what the punishment will be and how it will be carried out. Conseqences go together with the child behaviour rules, so the child knows the cost of breaking them ahead of time. Consequences need to be reasonable as well as a logical response to the unacceptable behaviour. When that unacceptable behavior occurs parents should make sure that the consequences are those which you have discussed previously with the child.
When a child's behaviour is inappropriate, obviously you may feel angry and this is understandable. In fact sharing your feelings of anger, disappointment or sadness can have a powerful motivating influence in your child's life. Therefore it is important that parents give themselves a timeout to cool off because it is easy to issue empty threats or say things that are not really intended when a person is upset.
An important factor is to be sure that the child has a clear understanding of the rules concerning child behaviour, and that the parent is consistent in carrying through with the understood consequences of breaking a rule. When following through with consequences for a violated rule, it is important to make sure the child understands why they are receiving the punishment.
After a parent has enforced the consequences, it is important to take the opportunity to reaffirm the expectations of child behavior, and that the child is still loved as a person, and it is their choice of behaviour that is being addressed.
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