Season's Greetings from the Politicians

I suppose no one but me gets all warm and fuzzy when they see the politicians sending us their Season's Greetings. Nonetheless, I thought it would be a real treat to gather all these jolly old dudes together. For a day lets put aside the fact they have pointy heads, and rank them solely on the quality of their Christmas Greeting itself.

I don't think any of the current crop of candidates can top this message sent out by Poppy and Babs back in seventies. Christmas was a happier time for the Bushs back then, before Sonny was despised by most of the free world.

For example, back in the 1970’s Dubya was just another harmless preppie jackass with tie and blazer strung over his shoulder and cigarette in hand:



The Budweiser down by his foot was cut off.

Is that really bro Jeb with his arm around Poppy? Sure as heck looks like Tucker Carlson to me, affecting the same stylish jacket/tie routine as little George.

Heck, they all have their jackets and ties over their shoulder. All that is except Poppa and Mama Bush—and the chubby little girl.

How much blow do you think George had on this particular day up at the Kennebunkport Compound?

Getting back to the current crew:

I guess Mike Huckabee put out the most controversial ad:



A lot of people were pretty pissed that the Baptist minister referred to Christmas, and mentioned the person whose birthday is celebrated (though he was actually born in the late Spring). Puritans, like Pastor Mike, just hijacked an old druid holiday. It was a lot more fun back in the day, everyone got naked and danced with goats, and engaged in unnatural sex under the mistletoe.

Some feel there is an evil subliminal message in the ad. Actually the image of the cross is not very subliminal.

But Mike does get points for using the word “Christmas” and the fact he is in a nice red sweater.

By the way Brother Huckabee, do you know if it is true that Baptists swill the blood of Catholic babies?

The Obamarama:



No mention of Jesus there, but if you play it backwards Barack turns into a Muslim. He is not wearing a red sweater, so this pulls the whole thing toward the bottom of the heap.

I think it would have been better just to dress Obama Girl up in a hoe hoe hoe costume.

Dr. Paul used some of the Tea Party Liberty Dollars:




Now Ron Paul is my boy, but I must say I hope he is not going to move all those rugrats into the White House. He's got a red sweater, and the family values message is nice. But my god, it highlights all that is good about abortion. However lets give him his due, not once did he start babbling about Austrian economics.

And Hillary:



Gotta love that gold pant suit. But big whoopin' deal, we already know you're a socialist.

Here's Johnny:



Somehow a guy in in a five thousand dollar suit and a four hundred dollar haircut, talking about poor people, does not remind me all that much of Jesus.

Look who is with Randy Rudy:



Santa Claus is endorsing that schmuck? Giving us “Peace With Strength.” Kinda like Jesus with muscles. But lets give credit where credit is due. Rudy was wearing a nice red sweater and did not once invoke 9-11. I wonder if he will enjoy the copy of Imperial Hubris, which Ron Paul stuck under the tree.

Joe Biden didn't exactly wish us Season's Greetings. But he did this one



Wow--the mystical Iowa Caucus sounds better to me than a High Mass.

Here's Mitt Romney freezing his ass off down at Boston Harbor:

Click To Play

Come on Mitt, we know that Jesus isn't that big of a deal with you, so just cut the usual dribble and give us the Mormon Tabernacle.

Nothing from Dennis Kucinich so far.

But elves are pretty busy this time of year.

So now is the time for you and the Ron Paul botnets to vote: