Sunday Morning Church Disservice: Vanilla Christ
It’s going to be a breathtakingly beautiful autumnal Sunday in Bagwine, Ohio today.
But…there are changes in the air.
Because I am so dedicated to your spiritual well-being, I went outside prior to the dawn this morning in order to capture a picture of this change.
Overnight, we here in Bagwine, experienced our first frost of this fall season.
The following picture shows that the Lord lives not only in my soul, but he dwells upon the windshield of the Bagwine Mobile as well.
Amen, Brothers and Sisters. The Holy Baby Jeebus is one cool mutha. Ice, Ice Jeebus, and Word to your Mother Mary.
In addition to the glorious day ahead, we thank thee, O Great, Intelligent Designer, for helping to find 6-year old Cole Puffinburger alive and well after being abducted in Las Vegas days ago.
Happy endings are nice, but I plea with you to intervene still in this young lad’s life.
His abduction will be shown to be nothing compared to what the young boy will endure through 12 years of school with the name, Cole Puffinburger.
I see many playground beatings in his future. So I beseech thee, O Hoity-Toity Hosanna in the High, to move the spirit and compel Cole’s father to give his son a new name.
I have a few, albeit unusual, suggestions that may protect him from future wedgies.
Killer Puffinburger…Stalin Puffinburger…or perhaps, my favorite…Huffin’ Puffinburger.
In your name, we ask this…
Amen, and Amen.
Once again, I am off to sell party supplies to the masses. Eight hours of fun and frivolity for me.
Enjoy your Sunday all, and hopefully later tonight, I can catch up with you all.
Cheers!!
But…there are changes in the air.
Because I am so dedicated to your spiritual well-being, I went outside prior to the dawn this morning in order to capture a picture of this change.
Overnight, we here in Bagwine, experienced our first frost of this fall season.
The following picture shows that the Lord lives not only in my soul, but he dwells upon the windshield of the Bagwine Mobile as well.
Amen, Brothers and Sisters. The Holy Baby Jeebus is one cool mutha. Ice, Ice Jeebus, and Word to your Mother Mary.
In addition to the glorious day ahead, we thank thee, O Great, Intelligent Designer, for helping to find 6-year old Cole Puffinburger alive and well after being abducted in Las Vegas days ago.
Happy endings are nice, but I plea with you to intervene still in this young lad’s life.
His abduction will be shown to be nothing compared to what the young boy will endure through 12 years of school with the name, Cole Puffinburger.
I see many playground beatings in his future. So I beseech thee, O Hoity-Toity Hosanna in the High, to move the spirit and compel Cole’s father to give his son a new name.
I have a few, albeit unusual, suggestions that may protect him from future wedgies.
Killer Puffinburger…Stalin Puffinburger…or perhaps, my favorite…Huffin’ Puffinburger.
In your name, we ask this…
Amen, and Amen.
Once again, I am off to sell party supplies to the masses. Eight hours of fun and frivolity for me.
Enjoy your Sunday all, and hopefully later tonight, I can catch up with you all.
Cheers!!
Related Articles:
-
This poor little guy, Cole Puffinburger was kidnapped from his home on Wednesday night in Las... Read Full Story » -
What a blessing! The poor 6 year old boy Cole Puffinburger, kidnapped earlier this week, was... Read Full Story » -
Clemens Tinnemeyer is the grandfather of missing Nevada boy, Cole Puffinburger. Authorities... Read Full Story »
Comments
