The 10 Worst College Mascots
It's September, which means colleges and universities are in session. More importantly it means college football season is upon us! In honor of all the schools gearing up for their fall semesters, we've compiled a list of the 10 worst college mascots in existence.
Obviously there are so many schools to choose from, and so many mascots to mock, but we had to narrow it down to 10. If your school's not on here, don't feel bad, that means your school's mascot must be awesome, and we totally overlooked it.
10. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
Yellow jackets, although annoying, are hardly threatening. With one swat they can be killed. They're not higher on the list because 1. They have a mean sting 2. They can kill people (with allergies) 3. They bite. This particular yellow jacket is on the list because 1. He looks totally non-threatening and unproportional 2. He doesn't have a stinger 3. He's wearing tights.
9. Minnesota Golden Gophers
Gophers live in holes, are rarely seen and are totally unthreatening, unless of course you're lettuce or a turnip. The only person to ever be outsmarted by a gopher was Bill Murray in caddy shack.
8. Oklahoma Sooners
The official mascot of the Oklahoma Sooners is the Sooner Schooner. Schooners are the covered wagons early settlers traveled in. There is no way to make a wagon cool. It doesn't matter how bad ass the horses pulling it are, a wagon is totally lame.
7. Nebraska Cornhuskers
Nebraska may be the cornhuskers, but their official mascot is 'Lil Red, who is some sort of inflatable child. This leads me to believe that Nebraska is totally OK with child labor, and they have no problem with a little kid husking corn for hours on end, and only making meager wages. Who still husks corn anyway?
6. Ohio State Buckeye
What the heck is a buckeye?
Brutus the buckeye is a nut, from the Buckeye tree, the official tree of Ohio. Thank you Wikipedia.
So pretty much, the most threatening ailment Brutus could inflict upon an opponent would be to make them constipated from eating too many nuts. Nice.
5. Wichita State University WuShock
The WuShock looks like rotton celery, on steroids. Enough said.
4. University of California Santa Cruz Banana Slug
Granted, UCSC isn't exactly known for its outstanding athletic program, but still, a banana slug? Unlike the buckeye, ingestion of a banana slug doesn't even pose a threat. Part fruit, part nastiness, this mascot is just not cool.
3. Saint Louis University's Billiken
The history and origin of the Billiken is uncertain, but what I can say is what I think the Billiken is.
The Billiken looks like the vampire in Nosferatu, if he had been captured alive and pickled in some sort of solution for 50 years, then released upon the St. Louis community all bloated and drugged up.
2. Stanford Cardinal
So many people are confused as to what Stanford's mascot is. It's not a tree, although the tree was actually chosen at some point to represent the school's band, and later used at most sporting events. It's not, what would make sense, the cardinal, which is a bird.
Instead, it is the color, cardinal, which is like a deep crimson. Yes, Stanford's mascot is a color. You'd think one of the most prestigious schools in the country would've at least put some time, effort and creativity into their mascot.
1. Syracuse Orange
An orange? Who picks an orange as a mascot? Maybe the official mascot picking committee over at Syracuse thought choosing an orange would forever ensure their school would not suffer from scurvy? Either way, it is lame. Even going the Stanford route and choosing a color would've been better, than a fruit! I like the Billiken better.
Obviously there are so many schools to choose from, and so many mascots to mock, but we had to narrow it down to 10. If your school's not on here, don't feel bad, that means your school's mascot must be awesome, and we totally overlooked it.
10. Georgia Tech Yellow Jackets
Yellow jackets, although annoying, are hardly threatening. With one swat they can be killed. They're not higher on the list because 1. They have a mean sting 2. They can kill people (with allergies) 3. They bite. This particular yellow jacket is on the list because 1. He looks totally non-threatening and unproportional 2. He doesn't have a stinger 3. He's wearing tights.9. Minnesota Golden Gophers
Gophers live in holes, are rarely seen and are totally unthreatening, unless of course you're lettuce or a turnip. The only person to ever be outsmarted by a gopher was Bill Murray in caddy shack.8. Oklahoma Sooners
The official mascot of the Oklahoma Sooners is the Sooner Schooner. Schooners are the covered wagons early settlers traveled in. There is no way to make a wagon cool. It doesn't matter how bad ass the horses pulling it are, a wagon is totally lame.7. Nebraska Cornhuskers
Nebraska may be the cornhuskers, but their official mascot is 'Lil Red, who is some sort of inflatable child. This leads me to believe that Nebraska is totally OK with child labor, and they have no problem with a little kid husking corn for hours on end, and only making meager wages. Who still husks corn anyway?6. Ohio State Buckeye
What the heck is a buckeye? Brutus the buckeye is a nut, from the Buckeye tree, the official tree of Ohio. Thank you Wikipedia.
So pretty much, the most threatening ailment Brutus could inflict upon an opponent would be to make them constipated from eating too many nuts. Nice.
5. Wichita State University WuShock
The WuShock looks like rotton celery, on steroids. Enough said.4. University of California Santa Cruz Banana Slug
Granted, UCSC isn't exactly known for its outstanding athletic program, but still, a banana slug? Unlike the buckeye, ingestion of a banana slug doesn't even pose a threat. Part fruit, part nastiness, this mascot is just not cool.3. Saint Louis University's Billiken
The history and origin of the Billiken is uncertain, but what I can say is what I think the Billiken is. The Billiken looks like the vampire in Nosferatu, if he had been captured alive and pickled in some sort of solution for 50 years, then released upon the St. Louis community all bloated and drugged up.
2. Stanford Cardinal
So many people are confused as to what Stanford's mascot is. It's not a tree, although the tree was actually chosen at some point to represent the school's band, and later used at most sporting events. It's not, what would make sense, the cardinal, which is a bird. Instead, it is the color, cardinal, which is like a deep crimson. Yes, Stanford's mascot is a color. You'd think one of the most prestigious schools in the country would've at least put some time, effort and creativity into their mascot.
1. Syracuse Orange
An orange? Who picks an orange as a mascot? Maybe the official mascot picking committee over at Syracuse thought choosing an orange would forever ensure their school would not suffer from scurvy? Either way, it is lame. Even going the Stanford route and choosing a color would've been better, than a fruit! I like the Billiken better.Related Articles:
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