Comedic Material

Open letter to CNN Dear CNN. I have watched your broadcasts from the comfort of my living room for a couple years now. What I have noticed, is an absolute lack of respect for the viewer. You consider us stupid, and easily manipulated. Fear is your ally in the quest to control the American people. You wonder why we don't respect your broadcasts and get our news from satirical "fake news" outlets. The reason is, you've become about as trustworthy as a crackhead with a borrowed stereo. You can...Read Full Story

To the Westboro Baptist Church Hello friends. I saw your latest protest on the news channels. Keep up the good work! Your stance on religion is quite obviously the right one! Imagine a world where everyone lives in peace. Now that is a terrifying idea. Your campaign "God hates Fags". Brilliant! I may be an Atheist, And I may not agree with religion, but I agree with you guys. Hatred will solve the world's problems. Just think, with you guys out there, no one will have to question their own...Read Full Story

Man decapitated on Manitoba bus A local Manitoba man is being heralded as a hero today when a man was decapitated on a greyhound bus, eaten and then had his head carried around like an idol. When asked, the murderer simply said "I told him not to lean on me. I distincly said that if he kept his head near me he was going to lose it." A passenger was also heard saying. "We all asked him to shut up, someone just made it happen" and yet another passenger was quoted "Man, there was this horrible...Read Full Story

I feel...like messing up an experiment! I was at TED.com today and was watching a video on a Java applet called "We Feel Fine." So essentially what this program does, is scan the net and takes all of the blog posts that have "I feel" in the body or title. Takes that sentence, and posts them in a statistical form on a website including any pictures, the weather at the time and so on. A neat experiment. Well, I can't leave something like that untouched! These are my top ten experiment enhancers...Read Full Story

The champion The champion walked down a road bathed in morning dew; Looking around, surveying his land He knew his eyes told true; A brand new dawn, a brand new day The champion exclaimed; A king amongst the people cock and balls out, unashamed   He walked by men and women they gasped and shut their eyes; a few folks yelled the champ's heart swelled with great feelings of pride; people know me, he then thought look how they use their eyes; to look at me and tell their friends to check out...Read Full Story