Comedy Blogs

WARNING: This post talks about Poo. A LOT. You've been warned. **************** Low Flow = Big Stink Let me explain... As mentioned previously, we rented a house on our Florida vacation. Unfortunately, all of the toilets in our rental house were all "environmentally friendly" LOW-FLOW toilets. A sample "Low-Flow Toilet" marketing advertisement: "Low-Flow Toilets: When flushing seventeen times just isn't enough*. *Use only for pee." I don't understand these toilets even a little... Read Full Story

Behold: The patented "Butt Clutch." Let me explain... Things never cease to amaze me. Like: How I’ve managed to stay out of sexual harassment lawsuits. Really. AMAZING. You see…there are two Rodney’s. The first Rodney is “Home Rodney.” Home Rodney: 1) Cooks 2) Cleans 3) Swears only when it's absolutely necessary (i.e., like if I drop a Cheeto on the floor or something: “DAMN YOU, YOU F*CKING SH*TEATING CHEETOS..I HATE YOU!!!...I HATE YOU ALL!!!”) 4) Only watches porno when... Read Full Story

Last week, I spun you a tale of penile deformity caused by the pursuit of bodily perfection. Girls sympathized. Guys grabbed their junk. Transvestites were confused on how to feel. (don't ask me how I know this) This week, you get to hear what happened to me. Story #2: The Drunken Head Divot Drinking + Weights = festering head wound Trust me. Here we go... Back when I was in college, I had decided one night to go to a party with my friend Chris. When I say I "decided," I mean the... Read Full Story

Dear Floyd, You may not know me personally, but I know you. You see, I'm one of the young whippersnappers who has the sheer audacity to come into the gym at the wee hour of 5:30 a.m.... I don't enjoy it either. Old people freak me out. ...and, for some reason... ...you're ALL in my gym at this wee hour of the morning. It's like I've stumbled upon a reunion with the cast of "Cocoon." Just for sh*ts, I'm going to come in one day dressed as the Grim Reaper just to f*ck with you... Read Full Story

Everything except peanut butter and mayonnaise. No, no… ...it’s not the list of things I will put on my Mr. Wiggly to get my dog to come over to me... That list is ONLY peanut butter and mayonnaise. Get your sh*t straight, people. She's a good dog. Good...sexy dog... Sorry...sorry... ...went off topic... Back to the list: "…everything except peanut butter and mayonnaise…" It’s what I recycle. I'll recycle everything except peanut butter and mayo. ...I mean, hey, I have to draw... Read Full Story