Comedy Blogs

Apparently, I can be 'in bits', 'beside myself', don't know whether I'm coming or going, 'shattered', 'falling apart', or even 'cracking up'. Little wonder then that I'm 'all over the place'. I have actually been told, by quite a few people, that they 'love their children to bits'. Well ouch. So in theme with the title of this blog; I shall now write haphazard, disjointed musings that will be...well...all over the place. I am often puzzled why some folks think my name is the abbreviation or Richard Edward. 'Hey 'Dick Ed'! how are you?' Conclusions, conclusions. Now, if you were able to leap over ... Read Full Story

The following is an interview that I had with our beloved family member, Penny, the Jack Russell cross. A few years back, we got a Jack Russell cross. Now that is not a very good idea. Darn thing kept nipping at my ankles. "Hello Penny. Thank you for kindly allowing me to interview you. Anything you would like to mention before I ask you a few questions?" Penny responds: "Hello, yes my name is 'Penny' and I am a Jack Russell. When I say 'Jack Russell', I mean a breed of dog and not to be confused with a certain former England cricketer." "Thanks ... Read Full Story

WARNING: This post talks about Poo. A LOT. You've been warned. **************** Low Flow = Big Stink Let me explain... As mentioned previously, we rented a house on our Florida vacation. Unfortunately, all of the toilets in our rental house were all "environmentally friendly" LOW-FLOW toilets. A sample "Low-Flow Toilet" marketing advertisement: "Low-Flow Toilets: When flushing seventeen times just isn't enough*. *Use only for pee." I don't understand these toilets even a little. I mean, I'm all for the water conservation thing...but, really: "Low flow" means that even a tiny little turd breaks the surface of the water. When there's basically a cupful of ... Read Full Story

Blah, Blah, Blah. This is what I doodled in my notebook at a work meeting the other day...as I was listening to the ramblings of people I don't care about talk about things I don't like to do. ...and it got me thinking about Dream Jobs. Now, granted, I don’t have the most awful job in the world. I work in the tech industry, I get to wear jeans and – occasionally – my Underdog t-shirt to work, and I’m paid reasonably well. This is in stark contrast to the janitor in my building, who gets paid sh*t, has to wear an outfit, and ... Read Full Story

I awoke to the sensation of my face being squished. *smoooosh* The hand smooshing me went away…and my face returned to normal. …then…another squish…harder this time… *squeeze…squish..* ..then came the kick to my lumbar… I get it...I was snoring. I snore. My wife has three methods to get me to stop snoring: 1) Yelling 2) Facial distortion techniques 3) Brutal pummeling of my lumbar region or – really – any body part that’s closest to her It usually doesn’t work. ..because my nose is busted... ...it's completely closed on the right side. Like South Park, I blame Canada . The internals of my nose ... Read Full Story