Comedy Blogs

'Concerns have been raised by farmers about the impact of a block on overseas sheep shearers coming to the UK. Last year employers had to seek work permits and there are fears they could be affected by new immigration laws. About 500 sheep shearers come to the UK from abroad each summer to help clip the fleeces of some 14.5m animals. Will Dickson, a sheep farmer in the Borders, told BBC Radio's Good Morning Scotland programme that the industry depended on foreign shearers.   Mr Dickson said...Read Full Story

Toilet paper has improved dramatically in Britain since the days I recall when toilet paper, or 'bog roll', was more liked glorified waxed paper.   In fact, it was so waxy that I considered rolling a bunch up and turning it into some kind of weird candle.  Probably not the kind of scented candle you might have in mind.  So this posting will be about that vitally important subject of toilet paper.  I bet you're all flushed with excitement.  Let's get to the bottom of it. Now then, I have used...Read Full Story

The above photograph shows 'Penny', our lovable little Jack Russell, having a check over some of my random and scrap notes.  Perhaps that should read 'crap' notes.  Penny noticed that I had not been posting up much, recently.  So she said, 'Gary, why don't you just take some of this scribbled stuff and post it up?  Please do some of that dog versus cat observations.  You know, the ones I told you about.'  'Okay Penny', I replied, 'why not.' Penny had told me about some of the good things that...Read Full Story

'Fantastic', I thought, 'there's actually a space out front of my house to park.'  Then I noticed the huge mounds of horse droppings in the highly prized parking space.  Not one who enjoys driving his car tyres (tires) through steaming lumps of horsie poop; I ended up parking half way down the street. I've mentioned my dismay over cat crap in the garden.  No doubt, the majority of folks would think that is frustrating and most unfortunate.  People with dogs, generally speaking, are...Read Full Story

I've talked about this subject before.  I was hoping that the situation would improve.  Alas, if anything, it seems to be getting worse.  This little expedition is the sort of misadventure that would turn any respectable superhero into a quivering wreck.  So just what is it I'm talking about?  Maybe you can relate. Yes, in the photograph is the entrance to that place of little shopping horrors, also known as a supermarket.  Note the instruments of chaos neatly rowed in front of the entrance...Read Full Story

Warning!  The following blog is an experiment in holding your breath.  It is highly recommended that you do not reach the point of holding your breath like the old dude in the photograph below.  Yes below, as in underneath this sentence. One thing I try to avoid in writing is something that I have mentioned before and that is the 'run-on' sentence because there are times that what you have to say can be much better described without using 'and' to make the sentence even longer than what it...Read Full Story

This may just be the coolest blog I've ever done.  So chill out and relax while I tell you about the refrigerator.  When I mention, 'the refrigerator', this has absolutely nothing to do with the defensive lineman who played for the Chicago Bears. I recently replaced my old 'frost-free' fridge with a new frost-free fridge.  Try saying 'frost-free fridge' after a frantic fun-filled Friday full of fine friends and one too many bottles of beer.  I had to get rid of my last frost-free fridge.  I...Read Full Story

A number of folks have told me, 'Gary, 'get a grip', man!'   So what sort of grip should I be getting?  Then I realised that they actually meant, to relax and be more rational, indeed to come to one's senses.   So when someone says, 'get a grip on yourself'..well I wouldn't even dare tell you what I thought that might mean. So just what am I doing that might mean I need to 'get a grip'?  Maybe it's the fact that every once in a while I am tempted to do what you would call a 'run-on' sentence...Read Full Story

There was this guy I knew who had a bit of yearly school tradition.  The poor fellow ended up in twelve different schools in twelve years.  At the beginning of each school year he would glue himself to the head teacher.  'Why do you do that?' I asked.  'Well, my parents told me that I should always stick to my principals.' I have no idea where this blog is going.  It might go for a stroll through the park and end up at a take-away restaurant and order a pizza.  Can you tell I'm typing 'off...Read Full Story

What is it with rubber gloves?  No, not that type of rubber glove!  I'm not talking about the kind you visualise as you smile nervously at the customs guy at the airport.  You start to sweat profusely, dreading the thought of being dragged by two security guards into some back room and told to bend over.  No, I state again, not that type of  rubber glove! I mean this type of rubber glove.  You are washing the dishes and all seems fine.  The water is very hot and the cups and plates come out...Read Full Story