Conan O'Brien Twitter 
It’s my theory that the Stanley Cup is named after Paul Stanley from Kiss.
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
A 6-year-old was in the National Spelling Bee Finals. She must be quite prekoshus.
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
If you’re a fan of old guys and envelopes, Wednesday’s NBA Draft Lottery was the most exciting night in sports.
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
Apple says they’re coming out with a big announcement. Hope it’s not about the internet history on my Macbook Pro. #EroticWeatherChannel
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
Taking a DNA test just to make sure I’m not a Kardashian.
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
Just stopped at this diner in Upstate New York. I had the Special: Soup, Sandwich, and A Curse on the White Devil: http://t.co/LXgC21cR
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
There was a tropical storm named “Bud?” I assume it’s the first one to threaten the coast wearing a wife beater.
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
I might be watching too much “Game of Thrones” because I won’t eat shrimp without first subjecting them to a loud, public beheading.
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
A new study claims Christopher Columbus may have been Jewish. They point to his recently unearthed comedy album “Take My Spice - Please!”
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
PS - I'm watching this @LAKings game on my DVR. No spoilers, please.
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
The @LAKings are playing the @PhoenixCoyotes? I wonder which city that shouldn't have a hockey team will win.
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
This morning I thought I heard a neighbor blasting that new @Skrillex song I like, but then I realized it was just the garbage truck.
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
I’m sure the guys Mitt Romney bullied in high school take comfort in knowing he’s now a famous billionaire.
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
Backstage at #Conan, Tracy Morgan & I fight about if Greece's debt-to-GDP ratio is causing the Euro-Zone Recession: http://t.co/Ezzn0PBR
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
A sad moment for civilization: I just bought Greece with an old can of olives.
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
CBS greenlit a sitcom based on Groupon. Why is TBS stalling on my idea “Val-Pak Buddies?”
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
They say “opposites attract” and yet I don’t have the hots for the Tanning Mom.
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
Today, Facebook went public, just as MySpace’s last user went private.
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
Going on Letterman tonight for the first time in 13 years. Dave wanted to wait until I hit puberty.
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via Twitter for iPhone
[Explicit content. View on Twitter.]
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
If Obama's the first gay president, then I'm the first gay late night host! Oh, he's not gay? Then I was being sarcastic.
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
You know who’s behind this big push for gay marriage? The immensely powerful tuxedo industry.
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
Instead of flowers, I sent my Mom an assortment of unsecured Greek Treasury bonds.
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
I’m just like the Hulk, except when I’m mad, I get dry mouth.
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
Thought from a recent hotel stay: doesn’t “Toblerone” sound like a character on Game of Thrones?
Conan O'Brien tweeted on via web
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