Rep. Ted Poe (R-TX-2): The hardest working man in Congress

Allow me to introduce the hardest-working man in Congress. Not James Brown. Not Mary-Kate and Ashley. I'm speaking of Rep. Ted Poe, Republican, representing the 2nd district of the great and independent Republic of Texas. Did I say republic? State...state! What was I thinking? Hardly a day goes by that the gentleman from Texas doesn't ask for and receive permission to address the House for 1 minute. You're thinking...what can you do in one minute? Plenty! Ask Hillary. Rep. Poe is a master of encapsulating a national tragedy into two paragraphs, usually ending with something like Overweight, polluting Mexican trucks driven by low paid, unqualified drivers that may not even be able to read highway signs is a dangerous policy for the citizens of this country! My first reaction is, policy? This is policy? My God, the post-Classic really has arrived! But the kicker--what Rep. Poe is known for, sort of like Elvis always ending with The Wonder of You and "You can have your bra back, miss"--is his tag line: "And that's just the way it is." I like it. It's a nice combination of weary fatalism ("It is and has always been the case that illegal welfare mothers drive more Corvettes than Ford Galaxies") and a modern re-working of RETREAT? HELL! But...he's done it to death. Mr. Poe, nobody's listening anymore! I have three suggestions. I just came up with these while driving the kids to school, juggling a note pad and the Canadian Soft Rock button on Sirius. Here's No.1--instead of And that's just the way it is, try Sweet Jesus, I think I'm going blind! Dramatic. Appeals to the Apocolypto right. Or, No. 2--Hillary said I could use that. Pegs you as a loose, hitchy, "Dean Martin-and-the-Golddiggers" kind of guy. Finally, No. 3--I'm going to miss that minute when I'm dead. Self-effacing. To the quick. You know, the truth hurts...deal with it. Ted, you can use one or all three.