The U.S is Full of Shit

Chinese Factory Worker Can’t Believe The Shit He Makes For Americans

Look around America. We are obsessed with buying shit. We are people who confuse “wants” and “needs” as if our language history teaches us that the words are synonymous.

The media shows us shit. The shit we think we need in order live. Just watch MTV’s Cribs to view shit that rich people spend their money on. Mariah Carey really upset me one time by saying that she paid a few hundred dollars for a little pillow she liked. Now that is bullshit.

And commercials are full of shit. That may be half the reason why we eat so much shit. This leads us to our fat, unhealthy selves: dying for and because of food….and not being able to shit.

The media talks about shit, especially right now with all this political bullshit. We have so much shit in our brains that we can’t discern the devil walking the earth from God and His Word. We are a nation that seems to be burning in hell right now. Holy shit!

But as I check my bank account and see that I haven’t received my economic stimulus, nor my child support money, I feel like shit. I have been in a major depression before and you know what kept me alive…..buying shit. I buy shit because it makes me feel better. Some people get drunk or do drugs. My euphoria comes from shopping.

I may have learned this technique from my mother. She buys shit for the house that we never needed. She gets home really late, after finding shit at Marshalls, T.J. Maxx, Ross….and ultimately from garage sales. My mother possibly learned this from her mother (RIP grandma), who spent her lifetime spending her pennies at yard sales. But I think my grandma bought decent shit.

I buy my shit from off clearance in Target. Target owns all of my rainy day money. Sometimes my shit comes from Walmart, but I try to boycott them (like I did Kmart) because they don’t pay their workers shit. The rest of my shit comes from my mom’s favorites stores. When I had my own place, I filled it with random shit that I thought was particularly cool at the moment: something bright blue, a kitchen tool, the movie Glitter.

Perhaps if we gained control of our lives we wouldn’t be pressured by all of the extraneous forces. If we just settle for the coffee at 7 Eleven, and not the $6 shit at Starbucks, we could invest our money into paying our teachers more, or building better public transportation. But we’d have have to unite and take a stand against Family Dollar, Dollar Tree and the 99 cent stores that have shit readily available to us with the money we have left over from gas. Are you ready for that? Shit no!
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(I’d like to know from my readers, from which places do you get your shit?)