So I get pulled over a few weeks back on my way home from the grocery store and I am given a ticket. (Even though I explained to him that I am papatigga of papatiggathoughts and surely he had read my blog.....he hadn't) The ticket was only for like 50 bucks...no points or nothin like that so no big deal. When I got to the house and threw it in the bill drawer with the rest of the shit I never pay. Well last night I couldn't get the drawer closed so I decided to clean it out a bit and I noticed the yellow envelope that was given to me with the ticket. I opened it and realized that the date that the ticket was to be paid had passed.....shit......Now, I am awesome, so I don't get freaked out about anything, but my wife thought that maybe I should call someone so that I wouldn't get arrested for  a punk ass fifty dollar ticket. I call but it's too late....the court house is closed. I really feel like maybe they should have an emergency freak out hot line to call when you think that you may be on your way to getting thrown into a "federal pound you in the ass prison" (office space). Now I...I mean my wife... is freaking out thinking I'm gonna get arrested...I say "Be cool baby...I got this. I'll call tomorrow...everything will be gravy. I run shit." I get up today and come to work, ticket in hand, determined to find a resolution to this problem. I call the number on the ticket and I am put on hold. As I'm waiting I notice that the music is dun dun dun dunnnnnn...dun dun dun dunnnnnnnnnnnnn. No joke! I swear to everything I love! I hope you know what song I'm talking about because I cannot find the name of it for the life of me. I thought it was Beethoven's symphony #5, but that's not it. I tried to look it up, but typing "dun dun dun dunnnnn" didn't yield the results I had hoped for. It's the "Oh shit, some bad shit is about to go down" song. You know it..... Anyway when the lady finally answers the conversation goes something like this:

The lady: Missouri court collections how may I help you?

Me: Yea hey...I was just calling to see if I was going to go to jail

The lady: Sir I'm going to need you to be a little more specific

Me: My bad, I got a ticket and it was supposed to be paid by the 27th of august....it's the 5th of October. So do I need to go to Canada or can I stick around here?

The lady: No sir. I show that we sent you a reminder letter on Monday, which you should receive in the mail today, that states that you have until November 3rd to pay your ticket.

Me: Oh.....well why were you playing the dun dun dun dunnnnn music when I called. That some kind of psychological warfare?

The lady: *silence*

Me: So its due on the 3rd then? Cool thank you.

The lady: Have a nice day sir...*click*

Like I said..... I'm a bad ass and I get shit done! No ticket can hold me! You see how I put her in her place? Baller status son! I check people...that's what I do! I ain't scared of shit! Runnin shit! No one tells me what to d....shit! Here comes my boss! Gotta go!

Till next time...

Peace...

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