First, congratulate yourself for making the decision to go to prom. Before we get into the steps you should take to propose an invitation, there are some things to consider. First, don’t over-hype the event. If you build it up to be the most AMAZING NIGHT EVER, you’re only going to be let down because, let me tell you from experience, there will be way more amazing nights after prom. So don’t set your expectations too high. Second, avoid the ridiculous tuxedo. If you want to be the cool guy at prom, wear a nice, black suit with a white shirt and simple yet tasteful tie. You’ll have the suit to wear to other events and you’ll stand out in a good way. If anyone gives you crap, tell them they look ridiculous in their penguin suit. Then wear a tuxedo to the Christmas party or some other school event.

But you can’t go alone, so here are 5 ways to ask a girl to prom.

1) The bold move. Ask her in front of her friends. This only works when she’s around at least 4 of her friends. First, apologize for interrupting. Be polite. Then look her in the eyes and give her a compliment. Tell her she’s very pretty and you like her style. Tell her that you think the two of you would look good together and ask her if she’ll go with you to prom. If she’s not impressed by your confidence and candor, she’s not worth your time, trust me. But don’t use this one again.

2) Create a zine on Zimbio called “[Insert the girls name], Will You Go to Prom With Me?” Write an article called “10 reasons you should go to prom with me,” create a poll that asks “Should [girl’s name] go to prom with [your name]?” but the only answers are YES! and “Hell YES!” Write fake news stories, etc. Make it cool and clever and email her the link. You won’t be turned down.

3) The formal invitation. Go to a stationary store and buy a really nice invitation. Have someone with good handwriting write up the formal request in a very classic way. Don’t forget the RSVP card inside. You can always follow up with her in conversation and ask if she got anything interesting in the mail lately.

4) The trick. In casual conversation, ask her what she’s doing on the date of the prom. Something like, “what are you doing on May 17? I was thinking we could hang out, oh, wait, that’s prom night. My bad. Well, I guess we could make an appearance.”

5) The easy way. Tell her she’s going on a trip and all she needs is a toothbrush, swimsuit and some sunglasses. Then have a limo pick her up at her house and whisk her away to a private jet waiting at the airport (don’t forget to fuel the jet!). From there she’ll fly to southern France. She’ll need to be helicoptered to your yacht where you’ll be chilling with some of the region’s best bubbly (non-alcoholic, of course). Once she arrives, she’ll probably need a massage from all the travel so when she returns from that and is on her third course of lunch, casually mention that you think she looks very nice. This will be a wry compliment because she’ll only be wearing a bikini. Then look her in the eyes and tell her you want very much to go to prom with her best friend and you think it would be great if she’d ask her for you because you’re too busy. When she throws a fit, tell her you’re only kidding and that you really want to go with her. Congratulation, tiger, on scoring a prom date. You can also use this method minus the helicopter, yacht, limo and massage. But a special lunch would help.

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