Republican Party Rehab

Not to sound too much like a twelve step program---but sometimes you gotta hit rock bottom to turn things around. The Republicans hit bottom Tuesday night.

Its like this---while Barack Obama was thanking a group of diverse folk leaning toward the hip end of the scale (albeit it a bit out of their minds) in a rock fest setting, John McCain was in a lobby at the Biltmore. Now the Biltmore is fine if you are a hedge fund manager or on a Haliburton expense account---but please.

The average age of attendees at the bash was north of 55, and the young people there were all prematurely elderly, decked out in suits—on an unseasonably warm Arizona fall evening. Since every decent rock band in the country has instructed their lawyers to send out cease and desist orders to the McCain campaign, some second rate Country-Western band was strutting their stuff, reminding all the stuffed shirts how beloved their party used to be in those parts of the flyover zone where Barack Obama's bitter people dwell.

Actually, the Biltmore is smack dab in the middle of one of those persistent hee haw red state backwaters. Come ye all to Maricopa County if you long for those days when George Bush was king of the world, and every true patriot had a spotless Ford F-350 parked out front.

In Maricopa County--- Sheriff Joe Arpaio and his partner in evil buffoonery, County Attorney Andrew Thomas, sailed to victory—with a mandate to continue their good work—which means rounding up Mexican dishwashers with broken tail lights, and throwing their undocumented ass into the tent city jail—where they will learn to love pink underwear and green mystery meat.

It's guys like Nicklebag Joe Arpaio that attract followers that not only give the Republican Party a bad name, but trailer parks as well:



Karl Rove once said if the Republican Party could capture a fair share of the Latino vote they would stay in power for fifty years. And up until this year they did. But the party is just too principled for that—and so the Tom Tancredos and Joe Arpaios of the Party went off on a kamikaze ethnic cleaning binge—to the loud cheers of Dumb Young White Guys everywhere and various other knuckleheads.

And now where are they?

The Republican Party has lost the fastest growing segment of the population—which tends to be both politically and socially conservative. Those gosh darn temperamental Latinos are kinda reluctant to associate with a political party that officially treats them like parasitic scum—and Joe Arpaio as a folk hero...

Hey Joe I heard you shot your woman down:



Anyway, here are a few things for the Republicans to work on in rehab:

Bring in the Bikers from Sturgis, invite the libertarians, tax dodgers, Ron Paul and yeah, the Joe Plumbers of America, at least the ones who are licensed and might actually own their own business some day.

And be sure and stuff a sock in Mike Huckabee's mouth.

Seriously, the Republican Party has a message of liberty and freedom which is a lot more appealing to most Americans than European style socialism and the agenda of Harry Reid , Nancy Pelosi and Barney Franks.

But, they gotta purge the crap and get back on track. If they get their act together, possibly after four years, America will wish it had not ordered Socialism Lite, the Nanny State and all that goes with it.

So I really hope that, rather than spending the next four years bitching and moaning in Talk Radio Land, Republicans spend their time wisely-- mending fences and getting back on message. Toss out the neocons, and tell the fundies they are welcome, but everyone is sick of being lectured on how to be a better Christian.

Basically they got to make the party into a big tent where the shoe store owner from Nowhere, Nebraska is as comfortable as the politically conservative lesbian biker who calls herself Mary Cheney's Accessory.