Inspiration and HOPE!

Yesterday was a bad day emotionally. It started out pretty good, then I blew up the TV and things went down hill from there. Okay, I didn’t really blow up the TV - I unplugged the power strip that the TV was plugged into, and something popped inside the outlet causing a shower of sparks to spew from the wall and a plume of blue smoke to burst forth from my mouth.

Two blown fuses, a trip to the local grocery store (for replacement fuses), and a new wall outlet later, found everything restored to it’s natural order in my house except for the TV and my mood.

The television itself is working fine, but it would seem that the satellite converter box experienced some sort of permanent meltdown. After an hour or so of listening to an automated voice talking me through a digital game of Twister on the phone as it gave me instructions that should have the problem fixed in “just a few minutes,” I was actually able to speak to a human being. Now the human being was actually very polite and helpful, but after she told me the soonest someone would be able to come fix the problem was next Saturday, I wanted to talk to the computer again!

A week without TV is as bad as a week without the internet. I mean, come on now…what will I do with myself? Read a book? Play games? Exercise? Ahh, but such is life…

Unfortunately the whole situation sent my mood plummeting, and depression set in for the remainder of the day. I was angry at the TV. I was angry at the outdated wiring in my 93 year old house that I have put off rewiring for the last 2 years. I was angry at my own clumsiness while pulling the plug from the outlet, which is what started the whole chain reaction. I was angry at having Parkinson’s disease which may or may not have been a contributing factor in my clumsiness (I’ve been clumsy for as long as I can remember, even before PD set in, but at least now I have something I can blame it on)

From that point on, even the things that went right were somehow wrong.

Everyone gets depressed at times, it’s a normal human emotion; one that we couldn’t live without because it provides us with a very necessary, healthy, emotional catharsis. But for those of us who get bouts of clinical depression, even the simplest thing can cause us to fall down that ever spiraling staircase into the dark.
Thankfully, this morning finds me in a better place emotionally. I must admit, I woke up with the same “woe is me” foul mood, but that changed when I found a little inspiration and a lot of HOPE.  The acronym HOPE stands for Help, Optimism, Exercise, Physician

The website is dedicated to helping the fight against Parkinson’s Disease. It contains links to a lot of useful resources and information, along with links to watch videos online. It was one of these videos that helped my snap out of my mood, inspiring me to redouble my efforts against this disease.

The video was a recording of Davis Phinney, world renowned bicyclist who has competed in the Olympics and the Tour de France, and fellow PWP (Person With Parkinson’s) Phinney was diagnosed with PD at the age of 40. In the video he tells about his reaction to the diagnosis, and how he was inspired to fight against the disease.  He continues to ride his bicycle and to be as active as he can, stating that the disease currently has no cure, and even though he knows that some day it will, he doesn’t want to sit around and wait for it - “Waiting means you’re not necessarily living.”

He then goes on to say “Embrace what we can do for ourselves, and in a small way, we find our own cure.” 

I know how he feels. I know that doing certain things poses greater risks for injury with PD, but those are the chances I am willing to take. I would rather be stomped into wine than remain a grape, shriveled on the vine because I was too afraid to take a chance.  The feeling of accomplishment I get when I refuse to give in feels so good, and does so much more for my fight against this disease than any pill I will ever take, or any patch I will ever wear. I may get hurt, but I will have lived life on my terms. Sitting back and watching life pass me by because I am afraid to take a risk will kill me faster, and more horribly than PD ever will.

You can wathc the Davis Phinney video by clicking on the HOPE Link provided, then follow the links provided for the “2007 Conference on Parkinson’s.”

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