Despite Darron Gibson’s help, Dimi is still at a loss as to what the vodka tramps at Kickette want from him. Even the foolproof ‘tights on the training ground method‘ has failed to gain him some face-time.

Then, out of the blue, Patrice Evra throws him a bib and tells him to take his time putting it on. Apparently, it’s a surefire winner. Dimi isn’t sure whether it’s a joke, but he’s prepared to try anything once.

Bless. Even caged hormones in heels have hearts, y’know.