The Unexamined Victims of Abuse
by Sandra Brown, MA
This much we are aware of -- years of research has gone into the psychopath and produced countless books all trying to nail down the psyche of this mysterious and very disordered person. There has never been a lack of interest in researching or writing about the fascinating psychopath.
No matter how you cut it, it’s ALWAYS about them! Whether they are cultivating intense attention from others, milking your admiration, or you are trying to heal from their extraordinary damage, the focus is always on the psychopath — who he is and what he has done.
So many victims of psychopaths have flown under the radar of understanding and treatment. Very little attention has been focused on those women whose relationships were or are, unfortunately, with someone who has a pathological disorder like psychopathy.
Psychopathy is the part of psychology that professionals don’t want to talk about. In spite of the glamour of psychopathy, very few therapists are trained to understand this disorder. This is because psychopathy is considered incurable. Psychopaths are those whose personalities did not form correctly in childhood and have left them emotionally mangled with a personality disorder that is likely to make their lives, and the lives of those around them, miserable--and in some cases, criminal.
My 20+ years as a counselor has been in the field of psychopathology. Over the decades of working with these relentless disorders, I came to a new appreciation for the depth of permanent devastation that causes pathological behavior. The devastation not only affects the disordered person but also spreads to those who try to have relationships with them, including family members, partners, friends, bosses, children, and even their therapists. I quickly figured out that this type of pathology really IS a wasteland—the progress the disordered makes is measured in millimeters while the devastation they leave is measured in miles.
So, I shifted my practice from working with personality disordered people to working with their families and trying to initiate Public Psychopathy Education for the general public. Years later, I wrote the book How to Spot a Dangerous Man Before You Get Involved which was focused on helping the general public learn how to recognize the signs and symptoms of pathological disorders.
It was after How to Spot a Dangerous Man was released that women began writing me and requesting phone counseling. During these counseling sessions, I realized the ‘dangerous man’ experiences they were trying to heal from were largely due to two types of pathological disorders: Narcissism and Psychopathy. And no wonder! On a scale of 1-10, these two pathological disorders are rated #9 and #10 in terms of ‘Devastation to Others.’
As I worked with the women who were in relationships with psychopaths, I noticed that the women were remarkably similar in personality traits. Their stories of their relationship dynamics were almost identical, and even the aftermath of their symptoms were exact! Finding ZERO research on women who love psychopaths and almost nothing written even outside of clinical research on these women, I began to wonder if there was more to these ‘coincidences’ of similarity among them.
- Could there be a ‘profile’ of women who ended up with psychopaths?
- Were there identifiable traits in the women that we could learn about?
- Could certain childhood histories or relationship patterns contribute to ‘who’ would end up with a psychopath?
- Are there risk-factors in women’s lives that contributed to them ending up with a psychopath?
- Are the relationship dynamics with psychopaths the same?
- Is there a general aftermath of symptoms that are predictable?
- What helps in treating these women?
- What kind of relapse prevention should be done with them?
- Can we use this information to develop Public Psychopathy Education for all people?
- And why hasn’t anyone studied them before?
Dr. Leedom and I developed the ‘Women Who Love Psychopaths’ research survey which has now been given to almost 100 women worldwide. This intensive survey collected data and stories about women’s histories, symptoms, and a clinical inventory on temperament traits. This book is the result of that study — what we have learned about the women, the unique relationship dynamics, and the symptoms of the aftermath of a relationship with the psychopath. And we’re the first and only ones to have ever studied YOU!
So what WILL this book teach you, tell you, and explain to you?
New information about the psychopath that Dr. Leedom has uncovered that other researchers have never written about! These insights alone are significantly valuable for understanding aspects of the psychopath that were previously never explained!
Learn about the role of intense attachments that women experience with psychopaths. Answer the age-old question — do psychopaths have attachment and bonding? The answer is not what you think!
Understand those ‘crazy-making’ relationship dynamics that are only seen in pathological love relationships.
Get a grip on insight into those dichotomies that he is always using on you—“Go away — come here” and others that turn your mind inside out!
The psychopath has techniques in the relationship that no other type of men use! What are those? How can you recognize them? Understanding them is key to healing from them!
- Is there really ‘something’ behind how a psychopath lures? What about that ‘hypnotic stare’ he uses that melts you and freezes you at the same time?
- Get interesting insights into a psychopath’s unusual use of fear, sex, and intensity.
- What similarities do all of the women who love psychopaths share? What ‘traits’ do you these women share with the psychopaths themselves? How do common traits help form that impenetrable bond between a psychopath and his woman?
- How do your personality trait weaknesses actually ‘attract’ a psychopath? And what in YOU allows you to stay?
Finally — understand why normal counseling and regular self help books have NOT helped you heal from a psychopath.
Find out what you have to do to heal and how to get the emotional distance to begin healing your life!
Lastly, find out how to build a strong recovery and relapse-proof your own healing journey!
This is the only book written about female partners of psychopaths giving ground breaking truths about never before studied women! Are you ready to understand?
TAKE THE SURVEY!
WOMEN WHO LOVE PSYCHOPATHS
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