Raising Kids Consciously: A Perspective

Unfortunately, very few of us have a formal education that teaches us how to be good parents.  We rely quite naturally on what we learned from our own upbringing. The lessons from our youth may teach us both consciously and unconsciously.  We learn a great deal from our parents, and later, from our friends, the media, teachers, and other influential players.  We learn both by what is presented to us and, in another sense, what is not presented to us. For example, if our parents role model healthy eating habits we are more likely to learn good nutrition, but on the other hand if they never read to us or presented us books to read simply for enjoyment, we are unlikely to be an avid reader.

In my personal experience, it seems that learning is actually easiest when we are quite young and a lesson is learned best through experience and role model versus learning via a lecture later in life. I suppose it is similar to brainwashing; it can be extremely effective. The beauty in this, is that role modeling doesn’t require a parent to obtain a degree to do it well. For instance, taking time each evening to read with a small child or to go over school work with a slightly older child each evening merely requires a dedicated effort.  A child introduced to this “habit” at age 3 will learn the importance and perhaps a love of studying much more readily than if a parent waits until age 12 and doles out frequent lectures about getting their grades up. What I have seen indicates that parents who act early have the best success.

Certainly within my own family I have seen varying methods of raising children with very different results.  My primary conclusion is that the more consciously one selects how they will role model for their children, the more successful those children eventually become.   Obviously, as children begin to mature, other role models enter into the picture; television, magazines, teachers, neighbors, friends, celebrities, and so forth. However, parents have the early advantage and can help influence a child’s role model selection.

If a child develops a pattern of engaging in imaginative play, creative and active pursuits, rather than being passively entertained by television, they are more likely to be active, healthy, and intellectually successful.  Parents also need to consider what behavior they model.  A parent who reads or a parent who goes out into the woods with their child to collect or observe flowers or insects provides a role model that encourages such stimulation versus one that spends their evenings watching situation comedies and sports on the television. Children who learn to actively engage are likely to continue that pattern versus spending their time “bored” and expecting the world to entertain them.

Television and the media flood us with images; they tells us what to believe, what to think, what we need, what we must buy, what we should look like, and so forth.  Many of the role models seen through this medium are not positive ones.  However, a parent can consciously choose to counteract these negative images. By directing children away from this as a primary past time and by consciously talking to children about what they see when they do view such images can help to reduce the influences of these other role models. As long as children are guided and they learn to critically evaluate what they see, television and other media are much more benign.  

Raising children is not a simple task and there is no one right way. My perspective is that if a parent consciously determines what is important for their children to learn, then role models the right behavior, provides related activities, and acts to limit or counteract any negative influences all at an early age they may be able to skip the doctoral degree and have a good chance at raising happy and successful kids.

Learn more at <a href="http://www.squidoo.com/influence-of-media-on-children">Influence of Media on Children</a>.