Fashion Dos and Don'ts
Here's where you'll find the best examples of fashion done well and fashion done poorly. AND: In FULL COLOR!
Fashion Dos & Don’ts: Sporting Edition
When going to a sporting event, some dress like they’re looking for a Shot at Love with Tila Tequila, some dress like they’re members of a displaced Outback tribe of retards. Unless you count drinking martinis with a running start a sport, I’m not what you’d call a “sports fan.” However, I think I have a better idea of what to wear to any given sporting event than most.
I mean, I know that when you go to a stadium to see your team, you want to show your spirit, or whatever, and wear certain colors. However, there are ways you can do this elegantly and douche-a-ly.
Don't:
Why do Liverpool football fans of whatever sport Liverpool is playing feel the need to wear wizard hats? Oh, perhaps they're going to a magic tournament! Awesome. Maybe they can make their virginity disappear. Nice horn fruity-douche! Hooooonk!!!
Do:
Look, I'm not an elitist, but when dressing for a game, it helps to be a straight-up hottie. Wear your favorite T-Shirt, perhaps no underwear, a sensible pair of shoes, a trendy hat, hell wrap a fucking flag around you -- all you need to do is be hot, have great teeth and hold a foot long hot dog and, oh damn I love you.
Do:
Oh hey what's up? How you doing? No, not you on the left. You, on the right: Hey what's up? The subtle doo-rag with the guy's jersey suggests that this hottie wants to take it off. And lose her dork friend.
Don't:
Look closely at the flagged-skirted moron on the right, you can totally see his tiny wee wee. You're right, flag man-skirts are the truest display of patriotism. But, we're still going to need to revoke your passports.
Don't:
"Two virgins enter, two virgins leave!"
Do:
French chicks have an unfair advantage of being both hot and stylish. They suck. But damn, dig the belt, shades and stylish way she wears her country's colors in a fucking lei around her shoulders. I want to have sex with both of them. At once. Oui!
Don't:
"I don't know who 'Stewart' is but my daddy likes him. Regretfully, he's probably a NASCAR driver and I'll probably never go to college. Waaaaaa!!"
Do:
If anyone ever tells you you can't wear two pairs of sunglasses at once kick them in the throat with your Walmart running shoes.
I mean, I know that when you go to a stadium to see your team, you want to show your spirit, or whatever, and wear certain colors. However, there are ways you can do this elegantly and douche-a-ly.
Don't:
Why do Liverpool football fans of whatever sport Liverpool is playing feel the need to wear wizard hats? Oh, perhaps they're going to a magic tournament! Awesome. Maybe they can make their virginity disappear. Nice horn fruity-douche! Hooooonk!!!
Do:
Look, I'm not an elitist, but when dressing for a game, it helps to be a straight-up hottie. Wear your favorite T-Shirt, perhaps no underwear, a sensible pair of shoes, a trendy hat, hell wrap a fucking flag around you -- all you need to do is be hot, have great teeth and hold a foot long hot dog and, oh damn I love you.
Do:
Oh hey what's up? How you doing? No, not you on the left. You, on the right: Hey what's up? The subtle doo-rag with the guy's jersey suggests that this hottie wants to take it off. And lose her dork friend.
Don't:
Look closely at the flagged-skirted moron on the right, you can totally see his tiny wee wee. You're right, flag man-skirts are the truest display of patriotism. But, we're still going to need to revoke your passports.
Don't:
"Two virgins enter, two virgins leave!"
Do:
French chicks have an unfair advantage of being both hot and stylish. They suck. But damn, dig the belt, shades and stylish way she wears her country's colors in a fucking lei around her shoulders. I want to have sex with both of them. At once. Oui!
Don't:
"I don't know who 'Stewart' is but my daddy likes him. Regretfully, he's probably a NASCAR driver and I'll probably never go to college. Waaaaaa!!"
Do:
If anyone ever tells you you can't wear two pairs of sunglasses at once kick them in the throat with your Walmart running shoes.
Related Articles
Comments
Be the first to leave a comment!
About the Author
11 Kudos
+ Kudo
Hairstyles of the Rich & Famous
This is SO 10 Minutes Ago...
 |
Frivolous Lawsuits - Attack of the Thong
If your thong shot off it's pretty sequin in your eye would you sue Victoria's Secret?
|
 |
Shoe Trends for Spring 2008
Spring shoes are here so have your credit cards ready.
|
 |
Fashion Dos & Don'ts: Celebrity Edition
Contrary to popular belief, celebrities get fashion wrong as often as they get it right.
|
Popular Fashion Zines
