I got my hair highlighted, because I felt some strands were more important than others. Mitch Hedberg I like buying snacks from a vending machine because food is better when it falls. Sometimes at the grocery, I'll drop a candy bar so that it will achieve its maximum flavor potential. Mitch Hedberg It's very dangerous to wave to people you don't know because what if they don't have hands? They'll think you're cocky. Mitch Hedberg An escalator can never break. It can only become... Read Full Story
Close With his nervous, shy delivery, laidback style, and goofy one-liners, Mitch Hedberg had a loyal cult following but never quite found mainstream success before his untimely death in 2005. Mitch on Food & Restaurants I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late. I went to a pizzeria. The guy gave me the smallest slice possible. If the pizza was a pie chart with what... Read Full Story
"An escalator can never break: it can only become
stairs. You should never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order
sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience." - Mitch Hedberg One could relate this to the Real Estate market. It can never really be broken, and yes, home prices are down, but for the smart home buyers and investors out there, the sky is definitely not falling! People will always need a place to live. On average, a normal home DOUBLES in value every ten... Read Full Story
Wikizines are interactive magazines that anyone can create or edit - and this one is called "Favorite Mitch Hedberg Jokes". Here you can find fresh voices and respond in real time. Some members write articles about recent news and trends related to the wikizine's topic, others recount relevant personal stories or share their favorite pictures and video clips. Got an interesting idea or story to share with other members of this wikizine? Well, then put on your journalist's cap and add your... Read Full Story
With his nervous, shy delivery, laidback style, and goofy one-liners, Mitch Hedberg had a loyal cult following but never quite found mainstream success before his untimely death in 2005. Read Full Story
