Book Review

How to Ruin Your Dating Life: A Christians Guide for Avoiding [Almost] Every Mistake in the Book by Turner & Pomarolli

By Nicole Wilkinson

After a friend told me about a Christian dating book I should review, I headed to the local Christian book store to check out the selection. This one immediately got my attention and lets just say, once I picked it up, I didn't put it down.

The book is divided into 3 sections, the first for open advice for all, then the second for women and the third section devoted to men. What I liked most about this book, is that it actually caused me to do some self reflection. Within the first few lines of the books opening, the authors make a point of saying, "Its not her, him, ITS YOU!" So after explaining that we ALL think we are perfect and that it is always someone elses issue, maybe it really could have something to do with problems I have caused in relationships.

What in the past had affected my relationships? I knew that when a physical situation had arose in past relationships or if alcohol was ever involved, those relationships fizzled fast. How could I search for the perfect person for me, when I wasn't trying to live my best Christian life? I have made a decision to take both issues off of the table so they cant affect future relationships.

After having this 'enlightened moment', I devoured the book with a highlighter in hand to remember great sharing points...

• When someone pulls the God card during a break up, its a cop out. That's unfair. Express your own feelings and don't say, "God wants me to do this or that."


• Sometimes when we are trying to figure out God's place, we overspiritualize things and when we do this, we miss key opportunities, like meeting our future spouses.


• Don't act like a spiritual snob, like you are on a higher spiritual plane than others.


• God doesn't want anyone to be single. Thinking God wishes this for you is an excuse to not address key emotions going on inside of yourself.


• Don't be needy, this can often come across as "stalker"!


• You deserve someone that is as crazy about you as you are of them.


• A Christian singles group isn't a place to meet hookups and if you are over 35 and everyone around you is under 25, they think you are creepy. Move up to the next Sunday School Group.


• Have a 30 second rule. Within 30 seconds, if you couldn't see yourself in a physical or emotional relationship with this person in a long term situation (marriage), it wont work. Don't waste more of your time on a lame date at the Macaroni Grill. End the date after dinner and head on your way.


• Don't settle.


• Just because he loves Jesus doesn't mean he wont try to sleep with you. Keep your boundaries.

What I didn't like about the book:

The author goes into detail about how Joshua Harris' book, Kiss Dating Goodbye is sooo outdated and not really applicable in today's society. Though I haven't read that book yet, I don't think it was very Christian-like to bash another author in your own book. Too much time was spent on this, and was it even necessary? Leave the criticism out of your platform.

Grade: 3.5 out of 5