Game Over, Insert Two Coins for Secondlife

By society's standards I'm totally bangin'. My double D's jiggle with every step as I strut my willowy body down the sidewalk. I hop into my red convertible (top down, of course) and place my flawlessly manicured fingertips on the wheel. On the road, as the sun's light radiates down on my perfectly tanned face and stunning dark hair, I am utterly perfect.

Yeah, me and every other "secondlife.com" user....

"Walking" about this online community, the first astonishing thing I notice is how beautiful every single character is. I cynically chuckle to myself about the probability of these perfect humans actually existing on the other side of the computer screen, imagining in their stead lonely housewives, fat men in dirty wife beaters eating fried chicken.

When I first downloaded the program, I was shocked at the amount of users (numbering in the tens of thousands) who chose to escape their real lives by joining the website. How can our world be so cold that a night on the computer seems brighter than life on the outside? This site was made to mirror the real world (despite the ability to fly and human-sized woodland creatures [a feature I still don’t understand] walking around), yet so many have made the decision that this creepy, alternate universe (where the only difference is the ability to manipulate your appearance and allows you a “fresh start”) is far superior than the tangible one.

Now, just because my personal belief is that this website is downright creepy, bringing virtual reality to a level it probably never should have been brought to, doesn’t mean that this idea wasn’t a stroke of genius. Remember that addicting computer game The Sims that allowed you to create an entire family, build a house, and watch your creations prosper (or for those more sinister, fail miserably) just by clicking your mouse? Well, the creators of secondlife.com have taken that same idea and turned it marketable. In order to have an account that allows you complete access to every feature the site has to offer, you must pay a nominal monthly fee. Customize your character to the nines, dress it up in clothes most only dream of, build and buy homes in the site’s most prestigious areas, in order to fulfill your second life, you need actual money (converted into linden dollars) to back up your actions. (Mind you, the secondlife currency is worth more than the yen!)

But stick to the basic account and you can get some of the second life you’ve come for. Voice chat is a major component to making you forget, “hey wait a minute, why am I staring into my computer for hours a day trying to make friends with people who don’t really exist when I could actually be outside socializing like a normal human being?” We all knew it was coming with the dawn of the chat room, the first medium in which you could completely loose yourself in the identity of whomever you so chose. With the introduction of voice and video chat, personalizing your computer experience to make it feel like you’re actually staying connected to the outside world is easy as ever, however maintains some shred of your actual “person.” Secondlife brings you the option of chatting with someone “face to face”, hear a person’s voice, and actually feel like you have some sort of human connection.

It’s not an easy life to conquer, simple movement like walking, driving, climbing stairs, and picking up objects calls for the skill of a gaming master. The convoluted way to change anything about your scenario involves repetitive clicking and scrolling, unfortunately the creation of your perfect life requires brainpower to work such an extensive system. You’d imagine the creator would make it easy to shape a perfect world, considering the entire thing is meant to simplify and enhance.

Please don’t fool yourself and replace this as a type of human connection! That hot guy who’s hitting on your character is just as flawed as you are! Ten minutes into my purely experimental exploration of the site, I was approached by a male character who then proceeded to ask me on a date because “I was gorgeous.” Yeah. Right. I’m going to go on a cyber date with you, then we’ll have cyber sex, get married, have cyber babies, and die together in a cyber nursing home. Sorry dude, I’m just not into it.

I’m sorry, but I only have the worst to say about this website. Maybe it’s a good release for those who need someone to talk to sometimes, but if this is the way our society is going, count me out. I’d rather go live as a hermit in the mountains then take part in something as isolating and detached as this. My personal belief is that it’s much better to go out and work out the reasons behind your escapism instead of hiding in your room and letting them fester even further. So, sorry second life, while my first life may not be exactly what I’ve always dreamed of, give me crappy reality instead of perfect fantasy any day of the week.