Nothing Says "Welcome Spring" Like A Hail Of Bullets

Today is a great day for lovers of rapacious violence, gratuitous sex, explosions and fire. Grand Theft Auto 4 hits stores worldwide like a greeting card from America. “Hello world, let’s come together over a little head-busting.”

The makers of GTA 4 announce that there are a few changes this time around. They’ve raised the skill level a bit. For instance, the main character can’t steal a car simply by opening a door. The game now requires him to smash the window and hot-wire it first. Good thinking. We don’t want to give our youth the false impression that stealing a car requires no skill at all.

If you pre-ordered through Amazon, you’re going to get a soundtrack CD, an art book (an art book?), a home safety-deposit box with key to hide your porn stash, and a GTA 4 black duffel bag for your next drop.

It’s interesting to note that in Australia the game has been edited to meet their standards. Is that Rugby thing all for show?

Reviewers are calling this the best Grand Theft Auto yet and sales are expected to top $400 million worldwide. Whoo hoo. GTA 4, just in time for summer, when temperatures are high, tempers are short, and kids have nothing better to do than simulate killing and mayhem for thirty-hour stretches at a time. Life is good.©2008 Julianne Hall