Tara - on motherhood and the nature of family (LS in Spain)

One of the most natural aspects of motherhood is the close bonding that mother feels to child- in part emotional, in part physical but all parts spiritual. That is to say there is an emotional/physical bond that occurs but the true relationship is spiritual. It can be said as well that all true relationships are spiritual regardless of the physicality involved.

Children come in all shapes and sizes, many different colors, and personalities. This is true as well with the emotional and physical. To say that one is whole because they meet the physical ideas and ideals of humanity is quiet off the mark as far as the relationships are concerned because as I have stated all relationships are spiritual in nature. Having stated this, it is understandable and justifiable to make decisions based on the reality of situations where limitations in nature may not be beneficial to all parties involved in raising and nurturing a child. It is not necessarily more spiritual to suffer “burdens” unless they are agreed upon ahead of time in which case they are then not burdens but exceptional experiences instead.

This question regarding children becomes one of reworking the ideas of social notions of what family and children are. There is great hesitation with part of your union (your husband) with his concerns about the acceptability/respectability and naturalness of adoption or children brought to your relationship out of the biological process (conception). This is part social, part psychological and part ignorance. When I speak of ignorance I do not mean of his mind but of his lack of experience with these alternate ways to construct a family.

It would be beneficial to seek out families that are constructed by “alternative” methods be it in-vitro, cross adoption (from family members to family members), non- biological adoption, refugees, adoptions across cultural/racial lines, etc. Expand your circle of exposure and familiarity so that both of you can become comfortable with all the options. By exposing yourself to many different viable options you will naturally gravitate towards situations that are more comfortable then others. This is a natural part of the human process as some situations vibrate in harmony with your primary spiritual goals and some do not. It is important here to have resonance not only between the two parents but with the child as well. Remember you are becoming accountable for the life of another and it serves all parties involved if the child agrees to this as well for he or she is a spiritual being too.

When you speak to your husband allow for all of his opinions to be felt and heard it is only by uncovering all of the fear and resistances will both of you be able to connect to the life-force energy that will attract into your life a child. It may be of great service to the soul that you allow to come into the world if you conceive and there is “physical” limitation but it would not serve the Universe or your own souls destinies to undertake that commitment under duress, disharmony or disagreement. However I would be remiss to not point out that even physical normality does not guarantee an easy child rearing experience. You and your husband must be ready for all options and situations that may arise.

I mentioned above the connection that women have towards their babies as being spiritual and this is true even when a child is brought into your life but not of your flesh. I mention this to address this divide that exists in most peoples minds about the nature of “natural” child and adopted children. ALL RELATIONSHIPS ARE SPIRITUAL regardless of point of conception or DNA. Because this is true we can discuss the relationship of Fathers to sons.

Fatherhood is the noblest pursuit of man and it is disrespectful to limit the parameters or put boundaries onto what fatherhood should look like. (Please note that while I am speaking of fatherhood specifically all that is here applies to motherhood as well) I merely point to the relationship of the one you called Jesus to his earthly father as an example. Who is to say how a soul will turn out in the drama of the illusion called reality on earth? What is so very important is to consider the life of a soul that has not been nurtured by the loving soul of a father regardless of the origin of the child. In order for your husband to work through all of these issues he must address the dark ones buried beneath all the anxiety that is present. He may need to do that with someone other then you. Give him the space to breathe, grieve and to consider all of his options. Consider this a practice space for allowing the presence of a child.

Now we come to the heart of the matter before us. What is a wife to do whose soul cries out for motherhood? You my dear, sweet sister must decide how it is that your life unfolds. There are many, many ways to become a mother to the children of this earth. Please know that they will never feel the void that you may be searching for. There is a void beyond all others, deep, deep, deep in the wound of the soul that although seems to have many tonics will never be healed at all- at least not through the outside world. This is a void from self to Self or from Self to God (Creator) and is about absence.

This absence stems from the souls separation form the source of All and cannot be placed into worldly affairs to be healed. This absence that I speak of can only be healed by you returning home to that source of All (Light), a child can point the way but can never be a replacement for that original source of Love. Please do not confuse this with the need you are feeling to have a child but know that they are interrelated and overlapping into each other. The psychic residue from each source of pain and confusion must be addressed and healed if you are to know any lasting comfort in this life.

If one was to look into the your book of life one would comment on how many children have been impacted and effected by your presence. Only you can decide if you will have a child in your life or not. You have the power and authority to manifest a child to you should you so desire and yes there are children who have agreed to come to you should you be so inclined. This is true of all souls here as a coming together is the natural ending to the drama of this illusion. You may have to weigh other options of what it is a family “unit” is- one parent or two.

That would be at the very end of your options. Please open your heart to your husband’s concerns, objections and hesitancies. He is a soul on his journey as well (for the time being try to be loving and gentle with him; although in some ways this is an old, worn out issue between the two of you). Depending on how that manifests your actions will draw to you your next sequence of events and chapters of this lifetime.

Be at peace and instead of torturing yourself go out among all the blended families now present on the planet and start to work on what will work for you. Instead of “if” say “when I am a mother I will …….” By allowing and aligning to your true soul's voice and desire your path will naturally unfold for you. When you are in alignment you will naturally call all others around you into their alignment. This will be beneficial to all on the planet especially the child/children you will one day call your “own”.

This is as far as I can go with you now in this matter but know that I am with you in all my varied incarnations until you return home. Be at peace my sister and know you are loved.
-t