Guinness Book of Records Setter: Continuous TV Viewing

Grech does our nation proud

As far as we can tell, which, in terms of distance is about from here to the computer screen, Canada has failed to capture gold at any Olympic games it’s hosted.

While this would embarrass any other nation, especially one whose mastery of sport should go beyond hockey or the shuffleboard on ice that can be played while on dialysis, otherwise known as curling, it hasn’t really bothered us—until now, that is [Editor's note, we don't particularly care one way or the other, as we haven't participated in any competitive sport since 8th grade badminton got us out of afternoon school commitments, 'us' refers to our fellow Canucks]

Own the Podium is a venture devised to help Canada earn more hardware than any other country, as we prepare for the much anticipated birth of that baby white elephant—the 2010 Olympic Games in Vancouver, several mob-affiliated cement trucks’ worth of debt that will sink the capital of Canada’s Lotus Land into the Pacific.

At least with Own the Podium, we can take home said podium once athletes from other countries have graced it, the podium being the only structure that won’t soon have moss sprouting out of it once those three week games are said and done.

Our great nation might be a perennial Olympic loser, however that doesn’t mean we don’t produce great athletes—MMA cage king Georges St Pierre, assiduous point guard Steve Nash [Click here for our somewhat related list of Ten Best NBA Names], ‘Kid Poker’ Daniel Negreanu and now Ryan Grech, bug-eyed TV viewer par excellence.

Grech, an Ontario man, with an intrinsic advantage of living somewhere that is mostly inhospitable for 8 months of the year, set an unofficial Guinness Book record for continuous TV viewing, at 71 hours and 2 minutes in front of the set (with 15 minute bathroom breaks granted every 3 hours). He did this at a Toronto shopping mall, when he sat through the complete seasons 1-5 of ‘24’, causing mall security to extend the hours during which they normally hound teens out of the food court.

“I had a game plan from the beginning”, noted Grech. “I looked at the food that they were serving and I’d say ‘Well, if I eat this I’m going to have to use the washroom”, words of wisdom familiar to anyone who’s taken a long haul Greyhound or had to fly with American Airlines.

This feat earned him $24,000, or, roughly twice what a prospective Olympian has to live on while they train.

From the comfort of the sofa, beside which a cooler has been chilling cold ones for just such an occasion, we raise a glass to you Mr Grech.