german Hannah film

Has anyone else heard of this? I was on a british fan film site and came across this.

Vetter Dieter trifft Hannah Montana aka Cousin Dieter in Hannah Montanaalternate title: When Lilli Became The Star 

review by Art Penn

 

There are fan films and then there are fan films that make you cringe, yet you still want to watch them because you’re a movie masochist.

Cousin Dieter in Hannah Montana is among the latter.

Vetter Dieter (Cousin Dieter) is the German equivalent of the Turkish Tourist Omer and the Korean Young-Gu Films, and like those two characters, gets into a series of misadventures. Unlike Omer or Young Gu, whose films were 'professionally made', Dieter (who looks like Subway Spike from BTVS Episode 'Fool For Love' without the homicidal tendencies) is a character who just happens to be the cousin of whatever film character he interacts with, in an ongoing series of apparently fan-made films (Vetter Dieter trifft Batman being one example; yes, as the cousin of Bruce Wayne!), this one obviously cashing in on the Hannah Montana craze. This is available as a bootleg DVD-R, which means that audio and video quality is less than that of an on market release, and looks like the source material came from a torrent download, which adds to the substandard quality that prevails in films like this. Even more aggravating is the fact this DVD-R won't play on my computer, so I can't make any screencaps from it. CDIHM is based mostly on the episodes My Best Friend's Boyfriend and You Are So Sueable to Me, with elements of Song Sung Bad, Cuffs Will keep Us Together ,Lilly's Mom Has Got It Going On, and other episodes too numerous to mention. In fact, it looks like as if it were a movie edited together from those episodes (like some fan made films that turn up on torrent websites), only this is an ‘original’ effort.

 

'Lilli' (spelled from this film's alternate title) is teased at school by 'Amber' and 'Ashley' for not having a boyfriend. However, the boy she's had a crush on, Lukas, decides to ask her to be his girlfriend and go out to the upcoming school dance.

The Stewarts' Cousin Dieter comes by to visit, complete with vintage car and punk attitude and he ends up babysitting 'Miley' and 'Jackson' (despite Jackson not needing a babysitter) when 'Robbie Ray' and Lilli's mom Heidi (not Heather) go on a date. Dieter also knows Miley's secret. Jackson is having to put up with his 'new friend' Thor, who has been showing up at Rico's and pestering Jackson. It seems Thor has a crush on Jackson (probably poking fun at the Disney controversy about employing homosexuals). Add insult to injury when 'Rico' (played by a real dwarf!) pulls the handcuff prank on them. Muah ha ha ha ha!
Meanwhile, Miley is happy for Lilli's new found romance, Oliver (who looks like a deadbeat) isn’t, and both start feeling ignored when Lilli doesn't spend time with them anymore. Lilli says she'll make it up to Miley and come over on Saturday to spend Miley/Lilli time and watch a scary movie with her. This is the same night as Robbie and Heidi's date. Perfect night? No way.
Later on, Cousin Dieter is out in the garage and Miley is ready for her Miley/Lilli time. However, Lilli's boyfriend Lukas and Dirk, Lukas' cousin, come to watch the movie with them, too, and Jackson and an uninvited Thor (still handcuffed together) turn up, making Miley's night miserable. Adding insult to injury, Oliver stops by, sees Lilli with Lukas and leaves as quickly as he came, and Dirk becomes really scared from watching the movie (and wets his pants in this version!) further ruining Miley's night, to Jackson's amusement. Robbie and Heidi, true to the Lilly's Mom episode, come home disgusted with each other. She makes Lilli leave, ruining her 'date' with Lukas. Nothing helps a bad mood like spreading it around!

Jackson and Thor are still cuffed, and have to share the same bed. Thor keeps Jackson awake with his snoring, and Jackson plots revenge on Rico...

At school, Cousin Dieter visits Mr. Corelli, who happens to be an old friend. Miley secretly catches Lukas kissing another girl. Dieter has also seen this and took a snapshot with his cell phone. He shows the pic to Miley and they agree to confront Lukas, even at Lilli's expense.

When she tells Lilli about it, Lukas says Miley's lying. Just as it looks like Lilli chooses Lukas over Miley, Cousin Dieter turns up and shows Lilli the pic. She slaps Lukas, cries and runs off, with Miley chasing after her (as the horn section plays the same three notes as in the original 'Boyfriend'). Cousin Dieter shows his displeasure at Lukas for cheating on Lilli by walking with him into the bathroom, then strategically placing a knee to Lukas' midsection (satisfaction to all those who wanted to see someone do it in the original episode).

"Too many school dinners," Dieter tells the janitor. How Dieter doesn't get arrested for assault on a minor is beyond me.
After school  Miley arrives home to find a depressed Lilli there. Miley is angry at Lukas for hurting her BFF. Robbie Ray and Miley try to comfort Lilli, who starts crying at the mention of her own name! Cousin Dieter comes in and manages to comfort the grief-stricken girl, telling her that Lukas lost out to a great person. Lilli seems to brighten at the compliment. Watching this, Miley gets an idea...

The next day Jackson and Thor are finally uncuffed after they threaten Rico (who also wets his pants, probably scared of Thor!). Jackson hops around like he's on crack, ecstatic from being set free (or driven crazy from being cuffed to Thor). Thor acts like he's just lost the love of his life.
With a little encouragement from Miley, Lilli goe to the dance escorted by Cousin Dieter! Suddenly, she's now attracting the attention of all the boys at school. This becomes the best night of her life and the worst night of Lukas', not to mention Amber and Ashley's. Despite dances with different guys, Lilli can't take her eyes off her escort. Hannah puts in an appearance and sings* One In A Million after three musical brothers (in another obvious nod) exit the stage.

Mr.Corelli asks Cousin Dieter why he did this. Dieter replies that he knew someone like Lilli once, and she got hurt similarly. He notices Lilli eyeing him.

The next day, Lilli visits Dieter at the Stewarts', dressed as if she's going on a date. She thanks him for pretty much everything. He picks up on the signal and passionately kisses Lilli in a way that would be considered too risque for Disney Channel as Miley walks in on them and says "Sweet niblets!"

The kiss is resumed and One In A Million is reprised...

 

The cast (who are unnamed, probably so they don't get sued for copyright infringement) in this mostly resemble their Disney counterparts, although the actors playing the teens are clearly in their early to mid-twenties. The same actor plays both Mr. Corelli and Thor (the former wearing an obviously fake goatee and the latter speaking with a Swedish accent and acting a little too gay as far as Jackson is concerned). The actress who plays Lilli has a noticeable rose tattoo on her leg, but otherwise nails her part with deadly accuracy. She even resembles a matured Emily Osment, which is why she most likely got this part. As for the actress who plays Miley/Hannah, she seems unsure of her role somewhat, in contrast to her real life counterpart, and as Hannah even looks more like Hilary Duff than Miley Cyrus does. *Bad lip-synching to One In A Million hurts her performance somewhat, not to mention why Hannah Montana would turn up in a High School (maybe to capitalise on Disney's other cash cow) when this would jeopardise Miley's secret. 'Jackson' is pretty much like Jason Earles' portrayal, and passes it off. 'Robbie Ray' isn't given much screen time, with the focus instead on Cousin Dieter, who has a seemingly inappropriate relationship with Lilli at the film's climax (with the age difference). The other disconcerting thing is that with the exception of seeing Lilli and Lukas together and later operating the school sound system, 'Oliver' appears nowhere in this film. Presumably this also was to make room for Cousin Dieter. 'Ashley' looks like a cross between her TV counterpart and Hannah's nemesis Mikayla.  'Amber' looks more like an evil version of Raven. Heidi reminds one of Candace from When You Wish You Were the Star. Lukas closely resembles Cody Linley, only Jake Ryan is nowhere as despicable. Rico as mentioned was played by a real dwarf. The less said about him the better.

As for Cousin Dieter, he's extremely likeable, like his Turkish and Korean counterparts. How he knows Mr.Corelli isn't explained, and trust me, there are a lot of plot holes in this. Maybe this is a spoof, but it tries to be dead serious, and that's the charm. It's almost like a Mirror Universe version of HM/Disney Channel in general.

In a move pioneered by many foreign filmmakers, footage from Hannah Montana (shots of Seaview High School, the Stewart residence and of Malibu Beach) was incorporated (reversed and filtered) into CDIHM. Since this was German made, this seemed like a logical move. You can even see the Disney Channel Logo in the corner and the pathetic attempt to mosaic it out makes  this makes this even more downright laughable (pseudoauthentic might be a better word).The dark school interiors bring the Degrassi series to mind. These must’ve been filmed in an abandoned school from the look of it. Despite the home movie/fan film feel, CDIHM achieves what its makers set out to do. They’ve probably since gone into hiding.

 Cousin Dieter in Hannah Montana

Runtime: 70 minutes

Language: mostly English, some German

Cast: not listed

DVD-R available from 4/01 VideoWurkshopwww.401videowurkshop.deBuy at your own risk.

Hannah Montana and all related characters copyright Disney Channel and apparently violated by the makers of this film.