There will be no Dogs & Jeans posting tomorrow due to an unexpected Bag Lady Racquetball Tournament. However, since many people enjoy the Friday Demotivation Series - The Best From Around the Web, we'll post it here today. This week's theme: If you need some motivation to resume your exercise regime after Thanksgiving, look no further. Read Full Story
This is a reposting, but I believe still timely: Canada celebrates Thanksgiving too. Bet you didn’t know that. If you were aware of this fact, did you know it is not celebrated on the same day? Every year when this week in November rolls around I grow jealous and I’ll tell you why: Time Off Canadian Thanksgiving is always the second Monday in October, which results in a three day weekend. US Thanksgiving is the last Thursday in November, which usually results in a four day weekend; four and... Read Full Story
Today's Friday Demotivational Posters are Entirely Random. I repeat: Entirely Random. Do not look for a common theme within the images. Those readers who do may be subject to federal prosecution resulting in fines or incarceration. That is all. Read Full Story
Power walking is frustrating because if I go any faster I’m running and if I slow down then I’m not doing any work. Who would win in a fight between Mary Tyler Moore and Suzanne Pleschette in 1974? What about if they fought now? Girls should stop sticking out their lips like sea bass in pictures. You have lips; we get it. Potato salad is always good. but could usually use some more mayonnaise. I had a moustache in my 20’s and I loved it. I wanted to grow it back for years but was prevented... Read Full Story
Since everyone will either be travelling eating or sleeping over the next three days, here's a special Thanksgiving edition of the Demotivational Posters. Happy Holidays and try to get along with your relatives this year. It's only one day. Sheesh! Read Full Story
Puerto Rican Guy Shoots his Twin Brother CAGUAS , P.R. - The Puerto Rican guy who is demanding change from everyone in America, fatally shot his twin brother with a .38-caliber revolver during an altercation in their shared Caguas womb. Pursuant to Section 215 of the Patriot Act and Section 501 of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act (FISA), records were recently forwarded to the Pentagon, U. S. wire services, and the National Enquirer. Found in the basement of a Caguas, Puerto Rico... Read Full Story
The Alfred E. Neuman Economy
Alfred E. Neuman, the stupidest man in America, give a big speech today.
He explains all of the following:
the Dow Jones is at its lowest point in 25 years
the dollar is at a record low against the euro
Citigroup stock (the nation’s largest bank) hit a 10-year low
General Motors stock hit a 54-year low
Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac stock plummeted by 25%
Oil prices soared 45% over the past 6 months
Just like in Mad Magazine, President... Read Full Story
Oscar Crisp Dipper had done something, on that September evening in eighth grade, of which he was completely unaware. Actually, he had done a few things. For starters, he had made himself a target for the school's guidance counselor, Mary Birch. She was a homely woman with wiry hair and poor posture. Ms. Birch, as she was known to the students, also suffered greatly from static cling and was forever straightening her skirt and pulling foreign objects like hall passes from her stockings. Ms... Read Full Story
My life should be a sitcom. Honestly, if there were such a thing as Greek gods who truly like to play with the lives of mortal men, I will be the star performer. My show will be the box office hit on Mount Olympus! Mt Olympus and Greek gods Last night, Gary and I joined our friends at our annual New Year’s party at our friend Rick’s house. This has been an annual ritual for most of the years that we have lived here in the bay area. In the last couple of years, a poker game has been added as... Read Full Story
Last month I turned 34 and vowed to be a little kinder to my body. I want to give it more respect, to stop judging it so harshly, to discontinue defining it by society’s standards. I resolve to love my body for what it is, rather than continue to hate it for what it will never be. I’ve got a mane of thick curly hair, symmetric features, a nose that fits my face. I’m certain that when most people look at me, they notice few of the petty imperfections that plague my body image. My body is... Read Full Story
