Improve Your Life with Metaphors from Nature!

Receiving Me? likes to exploit all the cultural trends that might put cash into the editors’ hands; in that spirit, Receiving Me? announces a new line of self-help books for anyone who wants to go conquer the wilds of their professional life: Nature’s Warriors. In each book in the series, the reader will learn to channel the spirit of the natural world, unleash their inner beast, and defeat even the most banal white collar tasks. The Receiving Me? method is total immersion: we’ll show you how to become a part of nature so that you can later conquer nature from the safety of your cubicle. Here are a few of the titles in the first series:

Growl Your Inner Grizzly Bear. In this one you pretty much live like a homeless person out by a lake, catching salmon with your bare hands, ripping fish flesh open with your canines, and feasting on the pink goo inside. Pretty sweet. The lifestyle that is, not the goo, the goo is disgusting.

Let the Eagle Soar! The velvet voice of former US Attorney General John Ashcroft will ring in your ears as you stand on your desk and loudly shriek “Ka – KAW!” at passersby. What’s that your diamond eyes spot on the carpet, a half-crushed Frito is just sitting there, oblivious to the talon-d death above? Dive! Dive at that salty treat with the spirit of America!

O, Oprah! Channel nature’s most powerful force when you create a system of vaguely spiritual maxims, spread them through a ubiquitous media presence, and then sit back and watch the daytime TV dollars roll in. Wait, no, don’t do that, we’re working on that – you know what, just forget I brought this up. You don’t want throngs of house-wives repeating your name like a mantra anyway. It’s probably better if you just try out for The Hills or something.

After the Rain. The stuff that makes you want to curl into the cave you call a bed, sleep for days, and forget that the whole hard outside world has reduced your self-respect to the point that you read self help books themed on nature metaphors. If the rain can kick your ass that hard, imagine what you could do if you Find Your Inner Rain.