Humor

For most women Valentine’s Day is a day of joy while for men it’s simply an opportunity to get laid. Whatever your agenda may be there is no reason to feel lonely even if you are alone. For the fellas, don’t get depressed or feel lonely if you have no Valentine’s Day date. No date, why not go out and inflate your own. It will only cost you $39.99. If not think about renting some old school VHS videos. It will only cost you $39.99. Happy Valentine’s Day!Read Full Story

As a youngster, I used to put myself to sleep by lying face down and relentlessly thumping my head up and down directly into my pillow until I exhausted myself enough to deactivate my brain and fall asleep. I recently shared the head-thumping history with my partner Derek who, without missing a beat, replied, “Well that explains a lot now doesn’t it?” It was also during this time that I discovered a very private and special relationship with God. I can only assume His original head...Read Full Story

A few weeks back, upon walkinginto my favorite watering hole, I noticed a couple male friends huddled at theend of the bar engaged in what appeared to be a very serious discussion.   After ordering my drink, one of them motionedme over, saying they needed to ask me a very serious question but didn’t wantto offend me or have me think him as rude or vulgar…but “Where do girls peefrom?”   ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDINGME!!!   I somehow managed to maintain aserious face and not let on that I was really...Read Full Story

As ATTACK BUNNIES has already documented, my bunny issues began when I was seven years old. In the middle of the night, the Easter Bunny stood outside my bedroom door and observed me for what seemed like hours . I should have taken this as a sign: When I grow up I am going to be a lobbyist for the Fur Information Council of America and begin a very personal bunny eradication process. Besides, if the Easter Bunny was so benign, then what’s the deal with the eggs? Bunnies do not lay eggs...Read Full Story

My son is going to grow up to be a nudist.   From infancy on, he’d pull and tug at his clothes until he escaped from their confines.   He’s now 11 years old and while he manages to keep clothes on in public, the second he walks in the door from school (or anywhere else from that matter) he begins stripping down to his skivvies.   It is a common site for me to walk in from work, see his back pack thrown down just inside the door, his jacket tossed on the couch, his shoes a few feet away in the...Read Full Story

Derek recreates the Mama Borden crime scene. I like Ghosts . Despite the various bumps in the night (and day), the inexplicable flying coffee cups, and the shenanigans of a mischievous Civil War soldier evidently unclear about his death status; I actually enjoyed working in MindZoo’s 200-year-old haunted office in Leesburg, Virginia prior to my move to Naples, Florida . My partner Derek and I even spent an entire night at the Lizzie Borden Bed & Breakfast in Fall River, Massachusetts in...Read Full Story

With nothing but the utmost respect and gratitude to the number of old and new friends who have been reading my weekly (somewhat bipolar) musings, I still find myself asking: what do I need to do to really break through to an even larger audience? Have I been too nice? Too fearful of insulting someone? Is controversy required in today’s editorial media landscape? Furthermore, aren’t we already collectively drowning in an online sea of information much of which has little or no real value in...Read Full Story

Oops! Fans of this Blog know that I search tirelessly for the funniest, most visually absurd photos and jokes on the web, so that I can share them with you. Because that is how I roll. I just stumbled across a funny website that collects Photoshop Fails and assorted hilarious photos on every subject you can imagine – perfect for posting on your FaceBook page – called Buzz LOL Dot Com , and you should check it out. The first section I found was the page of hilarious Autocorrect mistakes...Read Full Story

Funny Pic Of The Day: Will World End In 2012? The Mayans were RightsRead Full Story

This post is intended as a humorous follow-up to my "Predictions" post.  I do not mean to offend anyone's beliefs, etc...With that said, 'Tis unfortunate that not all of my predictions came true...then I could have set-up shop on the Internet as the new psychic sensation. My ad would have looked something like this: Problems with love, money, in-laws?  Need to know where your life is heading and what key events lie in your future?  Call 800-***-****  and talk to Super Psychic A.!  For only $9...Read Full Story