Rock of Love Showdown: Destiney vs. Kristy Joe

Since you guys loved my Rock of Love 2 post about Kristy Joe Muller’s eye makeup so much, I decided to let Kristy Joe Muller and Bret Michaels‘ latest reject Destiney Sue Walker (what’s with all the middle names?) duke it out in a beauty pageant right here on my site. Aren’t they lucky?

• Eyes: While I appreciate Destiney’s use of color (she apparently digs purple), Kristy Joe’s eye makeup is always defined and pretty - that’s why I wrote a guide on how to apply it! Winner: Kristy Joe
• Lips: Destiney keeps the color up with bright magenta lips, while Kristy Joe’s lips are so pale, she looks like she’s got the stomach flu. (Maybe that’s where the germ phobia comes from?) Winner: Destiney
• Hair: Both have pretty, silky black hair, but Kristy Joe’s shorter cut and bangs are more flattering. Winner: Kristy Joe
• Natural Beauty: Kristy Joe’s look is entirely manufactured; evidence of this comes in the frequent shots of her without makeup (cue horror movie music). Destiney looks a nose better without makeup and has nicer features overall (they may be from Restylane, but at least she didn’t go as far as Daisy *shudder*). Winner: Destiney
• Skin: Destiney’s skin looks like she’s been a groupie for a long time: that smoker gray cast, the undereye circles, and more. It may be a heavy foundation, but Kristy Joe’s got this one. Winner: Kristy Joe

So the winnah and still champeen is…Kristy Joe Muller! ‘Cause you gotta look beautiful for Bret Michaels.