News and opinions about TV actress Lark Voorhies. According to Wikipedia: Lark Voorhies is an American actress who gained fame playing Lisa Turtle on Saved by the Bell.
Yesterday, three young, unsuspecting dumbasses ventured out on the smoker's holiday for a different kind of green -- an Earth Day Celebration. Lured by the phantom promise of THE ROOTS?!!!* and friends (Talib Kweli, Ne-Yo**, Chrisette Michele***, Wale****, etc...). Sadly, these poor, unfortunate souls*^5 did not accurately foresee the grim future that lay ahead of them. What should have been a day full of drunken, high white people, ganja, THE ROOTS?!!!*, crappy - but bearable weather, turned...
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It has occurred to me that I never actually explained why I am "The New Lisa Turtle™" so I have decided this warrants explanation. To understand, you'd have to understand who Lisa Turtle (the original) is (and I don't mean the actress that played her, Lark Voorhies). For the youngsters and those who just didn't watch Saved By The Bell I will explain her greatness. Lisa Turtle was Saved By The Bell's resident fly, token black chick even when it was Good Morning Miss Bliss. Now, most of what I...
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