Late Night Jokes
Follow the best jokes from Late Night with Conan O'Brien and the Late Show with David Letterman.
Late Night Jokes with David Letterman
Here are a few of our favorite Late Night Jokes with David Letterman:
I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.
- David Letterman
It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.
- David Letterman
It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?
- David Letterman
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
- David Letterman
Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?
- David Letterman
Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.
- David Letterman
For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.
- David Letterman
Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno.
- David Letterman
Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.
- David Letterman
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
- David Letterman
I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
- David Letterman
I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
- David Letterman
Iraqi's minister of information did not show up for his press conference today. However, he claims he was there and he said it went very well.
- David Letterman
Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel.
- David Letterman
I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
- David Letterman
I had no idea this thing was televised. Boy, is my face red.
- David Letterman
It's official, Arnold said he will enter the race for governor. At least that's what everybody thinks he said.
- David Letterman
It's so warm now, and Thanksgiving came so early - is it just me, or does it not really feel like Ramadan?
- David Letterman
Fall is my favorite season in Los Angeles, watching the birds change color and fall from the trees.
- David Letterman
Last night the United States dropped four 2,000 pound bombs on Saddam Hussein. I don't know anything about explosives, but, my God, do those things even need to explode?
- David Letterman
Iraq's elite Republican Guard is doing so badly they're changing their name to the Democratic Guard.
- David Letterman
For the love of God, folks, don't try this at home.
- David Letterman
Here's a little known fact - Arnold is the first body builder to run for governor since Janet Reno.
- David Letterman
Don't forget it's daylight savings time. You spring forward, then you fall back. It's like Robert Downey Jr. getting out of bed.
- David Letterman
New York now leads the world's great cities in the number of people around whom you shouldn't make a sudden move.
- David Letterman
I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.
- David Letterman
I know these jokes aren't great, ladies and gentlemen, see this is the problem you run into when you're between impeachments.
- David Letterman
Iraqi's minister of information did not show up for his press conference today. However, he claims he was there and he said it went very well.
- David Letterman
Experts say that Iraq may have nuclear weapons. That's bad news - they may have a nuclear bomb. Now the good news is that they have to drop it with a camel.
- David Letterman
I cannot sing, dance or act; what else would I be but a talk show host.
- David Letterman
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