Top 7 Bumper Stickers we Would Like to See

The occasional good looking flasher or 10-car pileup aside, long driving trips are often boring. Drivers usually rule the stereo, realizing just how precious a fiefdom this is when you’re crammed into a giant steel box with five people and no hope of escape that wouldn’t involve serious injury at high speeds. Ask any truck driver and they’ll tell you that if it weren’t for  highway strip clubs and strangling the occasional hitchhiker, their jobs would be too dull to tolerate.

Bumper stickers offer a welcome distraction from the drudgery of the open road that doesn’t involve a point system for running over woodland creatures (squirrels, 5 pts, raccoons, 10 and up to maximum points for a bear. Rulebook must be consulted if, say, a giraffe escapes from the zoo and you somehow manage to bring it down with your Toyota Corolla).

Part of the fun with bumper stickers is that many people who aren’t using them to identify where they work or go to school are yahoos. They are somehow affiliated with a cause that a critical mass of people don’t care about or openly repudiate, and they want to share that with everybody mentally finalizing their orders at the McDonald’s drive-thru.

Here we have 7 bumper stickers we’d like to see, starting with a tribute to the man who gave us our most visited blog of all time: