Holding On Tight

I've been at Shelly's as much as possible since she's been home. I feel like I should help in anyway I can since I know she would do the same for me or Bill in a heartbeat. Plus I selfishly want to suck in as much time as possible with her before there's no time left.......

Her husband, Cliff has been amazing. He really seems to be holding it together but I could see him at different times holding onto her, afraid to let go. The other day Shelly fell asleep on the couch so I was trying to keep everyone out of the house and going in for things needed myself, like napkins, drinks, etc, so she wouldn't be disturbed. I had to prepare myself every time I walked in the door though because there was Cliff, laying on her with his head on her stomach and his arms wrapped around her, asleep, but holding on tight. It was such a beautiful and sad thing all at the same time. Because Shelly is now blind, Cliff walks with her around the house. She is also very weak so he walks behind her with his arms around her waist and they walk slowly step by step together. Last night at dinner there was an older slow song, I can't remember now which one but it doesn't matter, Cliff was walking her to the table and he began swaying her lightly side to side and singing the song in her ear. Again, a beautiful thing but so sad at the same time.

When I brought my kids in to see her the other day for the first time in months Dare Devil ran over to her and hugged her so tight, laying his head in her lap and not wanting to get up. Anyone else usually gets a short hug but not Aunt Shelly, he didn't want to let go of her either.

My mother-in-law said she's been getting weaker, sleeping more and that they have to keep waking her up. She knows that this is probably the beginning of the end but she said that they selfishly want more time with her which is why they only let her sleep for so long. I don't think that's selfish at all.

Who knows what today could bring or tomorrow or next week? For now everyone is just holding onto Shelly sooooo tight.